'Doctors said my tic was attention-seeking - but then I had my eureka moment'
When Gavin Higgins was in primary school, he developed a tic that caused his face to repeatedly jerk to one side.
It made the muscles in his neck and jaw hurt, and as a young boy aged just eight, he had 'no idea' what was happening to him.
Teachers would call him a 'show off' during lessons, and he claims that even his doctors agreed that he was 'attention-seeking'.
Multiple medical professionals told Gavin's parents that he was 'looking for attention', leaving him embarrassed and confused.
Gavin went on to hide his tic for years, until he was finally diagnosed as a teen and his 'eureka moment' followed.
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One in 300,000 people in the UK live with Tourette's - and like most, Gavin's was undiagnosed for years (Tourette’s Action)Gavin, now 40, told the Mirror this International Tourette's Awareness Day: "I developed my first tic at around eight years old when I would contort my face to one side. It was very painful but when my parents took me to the doctor they said I was attention-seeking.
"It was a very unpleasant time being told off by teachers for showing off when you had no idea what was happening to you."
Gavin would try to suppress his tics for as long as he could at school, and developed a tactic for letting them out in secret so as not to attract unwanted attention.
"It's hard to describe - it felt like a very intense itch that you absolutely needed to scratch and it would build up until you had to let it out," he explained.
Gavin is sharing his story on International Tourette's Awareness Day to address the misconceptions (Tourette’s Action)"I used to hold them back for as long as I could, then I'd drop a pencil under the table and let them all out when I went under there to pick it up.
"I used to jut out my jaw and hurt all the muscles in my neck and this went on for years until I was finally diagnosed."
Gavin was referred to the Maudsley Hospital in London, where he was diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome, a condition that causes involuntary sounds and movements.
While there is no cure, there are ways to help manage the symptoms.
Shortly after receiving his diagnosis, Gavin discovered that he was able to slow down his tics, and sometimes stop them altogether, by playing music.
He threw himself into a career as a musician before going on to become a composer.
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"It was a big eureka moment for me - I would spend all my break and lunch times at school sitting there playing instruments, and I used it as a sort of self-therapy," he said.
"My Tourette's is absolutely the reason I'm in the career I'm in today. My whole family are musical, but I wasn't interested in music until I realised how transformative it could be.
"If I'm watching a film or reading a book, my tics are much worse, but as soon as I'm composing, I'm in such a state of concentration that it feels as if they stop altogether."
As he grew older and his tics became less severe, Gavin stopped talking about his Tourette's, explaining that he felt 'embarrassed' as a teen.
Gavin used music as a 'self-therapy' and found his tic would stop almost altogether whilst composing (Tourette’s Action)Years later, he is now an ambassador for UK charity Tourette's Action's It's What Makes Me Tic campaign, to show the public what the condition is really like.
"The biggest misconception is that Tourette's is just shouting swear words," Gavin, from London, said.
"It's far more nuanced than that - most people don't realise I have Tourette's until I mention it.
"Lots of people with Tourette's also tend to have ADHD or OCD too - OCD is something I still deal with every day.
"After I started speaking about my Tourette's, I was approached by a number of TV channels who wanted me to feature in their documentaries, but they all lean into that trope of what Tourette's is seen as and I don't want any part of it."
He added: "For anyone living with Tourette's - it's important to find your community and what works for you. For me it's music, but it could be anything.
"Go and find your superpower."
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