'My daughter's not to blame for being banned from her school prom'
A furious mum has described her daughter's school’s decision to ban her from attending her Year 11 prom as "the final nail in the coffin".
Mum Angela Downes said her daughter Holly-Jo Memory has attended Noel-Baker Academy in Alvaston since Year 10 but she has now been banned from prom.
In the time she has attended Holly has struggled with her attendance and behaviour and the school has now said she does not to deserve the "reward and privilege" of attending the party on June 24.
However her mum has argued that Holly's behaviour is a by-product of serious mental health issues and not in her control.
She told Derbyshire Live: "I think prom is a major part of ending school life. It's the ending of one chapter and the beginning of another one.
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Holly-Jo Memory has attended Noel-Baker Academy in Alvaston since Year 10 (Google Street View)“Every child should have that entitlement whether their behaviour has been wrong or right. If I'd been given genuine reasons, I'd accept it and work with it. But I think she's been discriminated against because she's not attended and not been able to cope with school."
Describing Holly's barring as the "final nail in the coffin" of a tumultuous two-year attendance at the school, she alleges that the school's support system didn't do enough for her daughter. The 16-year-old is registered with CAMHS (Child & Adults Mental Health Services) and has recently begun working with a Derby-based charity for her vulnerabilities.
She was diagnosed via the NHS with mixed anxiety and depressive disorder, emotional dysregulation and history of trauma, and takes medication for all three. She's previously attended cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).
But Ms Downes, who lives in Alvaston, says the reasons for her exclusion from prom, which are the result of poor attendance and bad behaviour including two suspensions, are the results of the school not fulfilling their duty of care for her. One exclusion, Ms Downes explains, came when Holly opposed being searched by a member of staff.
The search, the likes of which took place daily, was part of Ms Downes' own desire for Holly to be assessed for her own risk every morning. But with the staff not following the instruction Ms Downes had requested for the search, the 16-year-old reacted badly.
It's one of many incidents, some of which have led to her exclusion and others which haven't, which Ms Downes argues wouldn't have happened if circumstances had been handled correctly.
She said: "I'm not saying she's not capable of effing and jeffing but there's always a reason behind these outbursts. I have been called into school probably three times a day for the past six months. It's been dreadful. They can't cope with her but they're not managing her at all. I've been called and asked to come and do their jobs for them."
Ms Downes had purchased a ticket to prom and a dress for her daughter before finding out over the phone that Holly wasn't allowed to attend. The ticket has now been refunded, but Ms Downes says she's been "insulted" by mass emails she's received from the school offering her the chance to buy a dress for her daughter.
The news that she would not be able to attend wasn't a complete shock. Ms Downes says that she used the knowledge that Holly's attendance and behaviour may affect her admittance to prom as a bargaining tool to try to help her improve, but she "just couldn't do it".
She said: "She's not there long enough to achieve any positive points because she's always either coming home or she just doesn't get out of bed because she can't face going in. I end up emailing the school to tell them she's not well."
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Ms Downes says that if Holly's potential behaviour at prom was seen as a risk, a chaperone and special support could be arranged for her. But the chance to put ideas such as that forward has not even been offered, she claimed.
She said: "I'm a reasonable person, I'm a youth worker, and I understand both sides of the fence. But it's her mental health that has led to these problems. Barring her might just send her over the edge.
"I'm just totally angry about the whole way my daughter's been treated throughout this school. I'm strong-willed. I will shout this from the rooftops. This is like the final nail in the coffin."
A spokesperson for Noel-Baker Academy said: "At Noel-Baker Academy we respect, encourage, nurture and push students to be the very best they can be. This means we set high expectations across all aspects of school life, not just our proms, and we expect our students to follow these expectations.
"Our end-of-Year-11 prom is a reward and a privilege. We do our very best to help our students to attend and provide additional support for those students who require it. Staff look forward to welcoming our Year 11 students to the prom, however, we do not comment on individual circumstances."
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