Private school teacher accused of sex with young pupil says 'God forgive me'
A piano teacher at a £6,000-a-term private school who allegedly had sex with a teenage pupil told a jury, "God forgives her but she still can't forgive herself".
Fiona Carrier, now 61, taught music at Reading Blue Coat school, whose alumni includes TV personality Jeremy Kyle and Watchdog's Matt Allwright.
A court heard Carrier had invited a young boy to her cottage for one-to-one piano lessons, where the victim described being "groomed", being cooked dinner and having sex in a bedroom.
Giving evidence at Oxford Crown Court yesterday, Carrier, who denies four counts of indecent assault on a minor, said the boy had kissed her initially, something she said she "didn't see coming".
Carrier is accused of carrying out the crimes in the 1990s"Completely out of the blue, he pulled the necklace forward and kissed me," the defendant said.
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"Call me an absolute idiot but I didn't see that coming. I have taught hundreds of teenage boys but I didn't see this coming."
It is alleged that on a different night at her home, Carrier and the boy "touched each other's genitals".
When Carrier's defence lawyer, Jack Talbot, asked her: "Did you not think to yourself: 'I'm the teacher, he's a pupil'?"
She replied: "Looking back in hindsight, absolutely. Looking back I should have had alarm bells but I didn't for whatever reason. It's absolutely haunted me ever since. I pray for him a lot, I've never been able to forgive myself. It's made me ill.
"God can forgive anybody, but I can't forgive myself."
When quizzed by prosecutor James Keeley, Carrier said: "Somebody being a certain age doesn't stop you noticing that he's a good-looking boy. Objectively he was, it doesn't stop me fancying him. Anyone can tell if somebody is a good-looking person."
Mr Keeley said: "This is how you're describing a boy in your care."
Carrier added: "Yes, but it means nothing."
The defendant is ushered out of Oxford Crown Court (Vagner Vidal/Hyde News & Pictures Ltd)
The 61-year-old woman told jurors 'God forgives her' (Vagner Vidal/Hyde News & Pictures Ltd)The woman has admitted this charge - concerning the "fumble on the sofa" - but stands on trial for a string of charges of sexual assault on the same schoolboy, who is now an adult but cannot be named. The alleged offences happened in the 1990s, the jury of 11 men and one woman has heard.
Recalling the second incident, which she has admitted, the defendant said: "I didn't really know in what context but I do know where it happened, on the settee in my lounge.
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"I do not remember how or why. I have racked my brain for decades about this and have been mortified and horrified, thinking, how, how, how did anything happen. How?
"I have just never been able to forgive myself. I can't explain what happened but it crossed the line.
"I was very aware that he could be boasting to his friends [about the kiss] and that if this came out I could lose my job, I could lose everything. I was barely managing as it was.
"I remember him coming over (to my house), earlier than some of the others. I was just trying to talk about it.
"It was a quick fumble, just touching, clothes were not removed or anything. We touched each other's genitals and the second I touched him, he ejaculated.
"We were horizontal on the settee and it was an apricot colour in the lounge, it was over very, very quickly, thankfully."
Carrier taught music at Reading Blue Coat School (Google Maps)The teacher said that in the moments afterwards, the victim had a shower and she put his t-shirt in the wash, which was covered in his bodily fluids.
She said that the next day, one of his friends, who had also stayed over, asked why the t-shirt was on the radiator and both her and the victim lied - saying something had been spilled on it.
The court heard that on another day Carrier picked him up from the train station to talk about what had happened.
She claimed: "We were in a cauldron, a melting pot of emotion. It was scary, I had come to pick him up and I said look 'this absolutely cannot happen. I am in such a bad place, nothing more can happen.'
"He said 'no it's cool' and I said 'oh man, I know you think of this as a game. It's awful, it's not a game'."
She also spoke about how the victim called her often in the evenings.
"He wanted to talk to me and started to call me in the evenings, not too late. Because there wasn't a man around to rightly say why are you on the phone again, he would call often and we would have a chat. The chats were all on his terms."
The jury of 11 men and one woman, have already heard how Carrier has admitted one charge of indecent assault on a minor - the same boy in the 1990s - which she described as a "fumble on the sofa".
The trial continues on Monday.
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