'I'm sick of buying drinks at engagement parties - don't host if you can't pay'

02 May 2023 , 11:18

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The woman went on a rant against having to pay (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images)

A woman says she's been left fed up after repeatedly having to buy her own drinks at engagement parties, and says couples should only bother hosting one if they can actually afford it.

According to this woman, she's attended two engagement parties recently, neither of which left her impressed. Both of these parties were held in pub function rooms with a minimum spend, where those invited were expected to buy their own drinks to "make up the number".

Although she doesn't necessarily believe the newlyweds-to-be should splash out on an unlimited bar tab, she says she would have "at least put on a few platters and provide a welcome drink" if it was her getting engaged.

She reckons guests should at least get a 'welcome drink' (stock photo) (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Taking to Mumsnet to ask others for their opinions on the matter, she declared: "If I couldn't afford to do that then I wouldn't bother having a party in the first place!"

Although she "would never expect" all her drinks to be covered, she does believe some food should be provided, and that guests shouldn't just be directed to the pub menu, adding, "If you can afford a drink for everyone that's lovely too."

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She continued: "If I couldn't afford it I would just do something smaller at home with my dearest and dearest. Not throw a big party. Surely the wedding will be the celebration anyway?"

Others felt the invitation needed to be clearer (Stock Photo) (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A number of fellow Mumsnet users could see exactly where she was coming from, with one person commenting: "I agree and you just need to be clear on the invite.

"If you are throwing a party then some drinks and food should be provided. Otherwise, it's a meeting in a pub to celebrate - which is also fine but you are not hosting a party. That's different."

Another remarked: "I would expect to provide food and drinks if I said I was hosting a party. If I couldn't afford that I would suggest meeting up for a few drinks. The thing is if it's a party I would presume you're expecting a gift. The flip side to that is that you provide food and drink."

Taking a different view, a third individual argued: "How about just going because you like the person throwing the party and want to celebrate with them?

"People can be so formal about parties. I'd never go to a friend's party and be offended that no drinks were provided. I don't go for the free booze, I go because I like the person whose occasion we are celebrating."

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Julia Banim