Mum kills herself after daughter's suicide from bullying as 'they broke my kid'

21 April 2023 , 12:58

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Vera Marie Appedu took her life after cruel bullying and her mum Stephanie was dead in the same home, just over two years later

A heartbroken mum took her own life after speaking out about her daughter's suicide, telling how callous bullies "broke my kid".

Devoted mum Stephanie Stile was determined to speak out about the devastating toll of bullying after her 14-year-old daughter, Vera Marie Appedu, killed herself.

But, weeks after speaking to her local newspaper about her daughter's death and her desperate wish to warn parents to protect their children - and raise them to not bully others - the mum herself was found dead.

Speaking at the time, Stephanie told how her grief at her daughter's death was made all the worse by the knowledge that Vera's pain was avoidable.

Stephanie said: "They broke my kid. They broke her spirit. She looked at herself and believed what they said. That hurts that someone could have the power to crush a person’s spirit."

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Vera Marie Appedu as a young child in 2012 with her mum Stephanie

Vera sadly passed away at home on December 1, 2020

Also speaking to the Staten Island Advance, Stephanie's friend Janet - who asked that her last name not be used to protect her own children - told how her own kids had also been bullied.

Janet said: “There’s a big, big problem on Staten Island."

"I’m trying to pick up where Stephanie left off. I’m trying to make this a movement. Literally, an entire family just died."

Vera killed herself on December 1, 2020, and Stephanie took her own life on March 6 this year, just over two years after her daughter's death.

Janet revealed how the two mums would often console each other before Stephanie's tragic death, and they were on a mission to bring attention to the terrible bullying situation facing children in the modern developed world.

Vera had suffered 'cyberbullying' in her first months at Moore Catholic High School, and Stephanie said this definitely led to her suicide.

She told how the toll of social media and 24-hour access to mobile phones means youngsters today cannot escape the bullying when they get home, nor can they leave it at the school gates.

A friend shared this image of Vera on a GoFundMe page for the family after her death (Gofuneme)

Vera had previously been in eighth grade at Sacred Heart School, West Brighton and enjoyed playing basketball. Her mum said she had ADHD but had not shown any signs of poor mental health.

But she suffered "intense negativity being thrown at her" on social media, shortly after starting at her new school.

Stephanie told SILive: "It creates a social divide, the social media.

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"The bullying, or fun, it doesn’t stop at three o’clock. It continues all night on social media. In my case it was intense negativity being thrown at her."

Stephanie alleged the teens who cruelly bullied her daughter would tell her to kill herself and called her names.

Vera had come out as bisexual in July before high school started but her mother advised her to keep it quiet as she began at the new school.

Stephanie wanted Vera's legacy to act against cruel cyberbullying

But the teen confided in a friend and the news got out, and it is suggested Vera was harassed and bullied because of this.

Stephanie filed a complaint against the school and the Archdiocese of New York, in Manhattan Supreme Court.

She accused them of negligence and failure to stop the harassment endured by Vera.

Friends told how Stephanie was frustrated with the slowness of proceedings, in the weeks before she took her own life.

Neither the school or the Archdiocese commented.

Stephanie had shared details of her daughter's ordeal to "save other children", telling parents of children to check their bedrooms and phones.

She revealed she had not looked at her daughter's phone until many months after her death, only to be shocked by the cruel taunts she found on there.

Vera had "seemed perfect in every way", she said - but when she checked the phone she was "slapped in the face with reality."

Stephanie added in a previous chat with her local paper that "it’s not about punishment, it’s about education. We need to be kind to each other. "They’re not teaching morals and values. It could happen to your kid."

In the US, if you or someone you know needs help, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

In the UK, the Samaritans is available 24/7 if you need to talk. You can contact them for free by calling 116 123, email [email protected] or head to the website to find your nearest branch. You matter.

Joseph Wilkes