'My mother-in-law stops my daughter from playing with 'boy toys', I hate it'

01 February 2023 , 20:00

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The little girl wanted to play with her brother's toys (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images)

Everyone has their own parenting style - but as long as your child is happy and healthy, it shouldn't matter how you go about your day-to-day life. But one mum has reached her wits' end after her mother-in-law stopped her children from playing with each others' toys, claiming it's not right for girls to want to play with 'boys' toys'.

She explained how her four-year-old son recently told his two-year-old sister that she couldn't play with his toy airplane, reiterating something his grandma has previously said.

The mum said: "I told him that girls and boys can play with the same toys and he told me that his grandma said no. I have noticed that she would occasionally say that something was for a boy or something was for a girl, but I never really said anything to her about it because I wanted to pick my battles.

She's nervous about speaking up to her mother-in-law (stock photo) (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

"I had no idea that she was telling my daughter that she could not play with a toy because it was a boy toy or my son that he could not play with a toy because it is a girl toy, this really bothers me."

The woman explained how she always tries to be gender neutral when it comes to her children, as she wants them to like things because they're interested in them, not because it's a 'gender norm'.

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She added on Mothering Forum: "I have noticed that our kids have gravitated on their own to the typical 'boy' and 'girl' stuff and now I am worried that maybe my mother-in-law had a little more influence on this then I thought.

"She spends a good bit of time with them when we are not there because she helps with child care sometimes for us."

While most users shared their shock over the grandma's behaviour, others urged the woman to speak to her mother-in-law about the 'lessons' she's teaching the children.

One user said: "If anyone restricted my daughter from doing anything based on gender (other than using a public restroom) I would severely limit their interaction with my daughter until they join us in the 21st century.

"These biases are passed on by older generations and in these formative years it has to be removed if women are to be considered equal."

Another user added: "Does it bother your husband? He should broker this with his mother, not you."

A third user said: "You might also consider adding 'Free to Be You and Me' to your song collection. It has lots of stuff about rejecting gender stereotypes."

Paige Freshwater