‘Using a lubricant revived our sex life’ - three readers open up on midlife sex
Are you over 40 and want sex less than you once did? Or perhaps you’d prefer to be intimate in different ways?
“It’s normal for our sex drives to change in our forties and fifties,” says Boots’ superintendent pharmacist, Claire Nevinson. “Menopause can often affect libido, and cause changes such as less flexibility and vaginal dryness.”
We asked three women how they feel about their changing bodies and intimacy in midlife.
‘I finally enjoy sex’
“In my twenties I thought I should be enjoying sex. In reality though, I felt exhausted looking after three children, had no time to take care of myself and struggled to accept my post-pregnancy shape,” says Kate*, 44.
When that relationship ended and Kate experienced perimenopausal symptoms at 42, she felt disconnected from her body.
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(Getty)Then a friend persuaded her to join a workout class, and as she got more and more into exercise, Kate started to appreciate her body for what it can do. “I felt physically powerful, and that’s helped me feel mentally powerful too. My body has grown three babies; how amazing is that!”
Kate adds that because she now appreciates her body, she has a stronger sense of what makes her feel good sexually. “I feel more confident with my new partner and able to tell him what feels good for me.”
‘Menopause changed my libido’
When Dee*, now 60, noticed her periods becoming irregular and heavy in her early fifties, she experienced an unexpected menopause symptom: a sex surge. “Friends warned me my libido might disappear, but actually the opposite happened,” she says.
Like many women, Dee had worried about her weight, but as her sex drive increased she cared less about it.
“I’ve put on a few pounds, but for the first time in decades I feel fantastic in my skin. Menopause has sparked a sense of liberation. This is my body and I’m going to enjoy it.”
‘Using a lubricant revived our sex life’
(Getty)For Kelly* and her wife Helen*, who are both 48, midlife has brought similar problems at the same time. “We’ve both recently started to experience vaginal dryness,” says Kelly.
"It means feeling uncomfortably sore and itchy down there. As a result, we both experienced a loss of interest in sex.
"It’s taken a deep breath to acknowledge that our bodies aren’t the same any more, but bringing a water-based lubricant into the bedroom has helped make sex feel pleasurable again. We like feeling close and connected."
For more advice visit boots.com/healthhub/womens-health
*Names have been changed.
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