Mum choses musical theatre sperm donor so daughter will be 'confident'
A solo mum picked a sperm donor who worked in hospitality and enjoyed being on stage - so her future daughter "would be down to earth and confident".
Annabelle Jones, 30, has endometriosis and was told IVF might be her only chance of having a baby, she says. As she was reaching 30 and single, Annabelle felt it was "now or never" and contacted a fertility clinic to chose a donor. While she couldn't choose her exact donor, she was allowed to choose the physical characteristics of her donor - and also what they had done in their past.
She decided to go for someone who she would typically choose to date. Her donor had brown hair, blue eyes and worked in a pub which Annabelle said made her think he would be "down to earth". He'd been into performing arts - and Annabelle went for this hoping her daughter would be confident, as a result.
Annabelle had 32 eggs retrieved and found out she was pregnant on April 28, 2023. Her daughter Ottilie, now seven weeks, was born on January 8, 2024, via c-section, weighing 8 pounds and half an ounce. Annabelle, an activities coordinator, from Oxford, Oxfordshire, said: "I narrowed it down to three donors in the end. That was due to their looks more than anything else.
Baby Ottilie (TFP Fertility/SWNS)"Then I looked at their personalities, what they do for work, their interests. I loved that he had worked in a pub. I worked in a pub - I think it is such a down-to-earth job. He also wrote that from a young age until he was 18, he did musical theatre. Something like that, whether it is in her genes and she does it or not, you need to have confidence. I would love for her to have the confidence I don't have."
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Annabelle had suffered with endometriosis since she started her periods and was diagnosed in August 2020. The doctors tried Annabelle on several different contraceptive pills, and the coil, which didn't make a difference. Annabelle kept pushing the doctors as she knew this wasn't just period pain and she was diagnosed with PCOS.
She then went for a laparoscopy - a procedure used to check the organs in the pelvic area - and was diagnosed with endometriosis in August 2020. She said: "When I got the diagnosis it was such a relief. For me, at first, I didn't worry about not being able to have children. It was more, there is something wrong with me and I am not being pathetic."
Annabelle Jones, 30, with baby Ottilie (TFP Fertility/SWNS)Annabelle then had a fertility test and was told IVF would be the only chance of her having a baby. She then contacted TFP Fertility - IVF and fertility specialists - and started her IVF journey in April 2022. Annabelle then had a scan and a blood test to check her egg count.
Annabelle said: "The fertility test showed a few concerns with my scan, and that IVF would possibly be my only chance of having a baby. I knew from my last surgery, that my chances of conceiving were low if I didn't act quickly, as the difference in only a few years was quite drastic."
Annabelle was then sent a list of sperm donors to choose from. Annabelle said: "One thing that stood out was the way he wrote. We had the sweetest letter that was attached. He wrote a letter for when she is 18 and that made me cry it was so lovely. He said he wanted to do it just to help others have a family, he was telling me that I am not alone. That quote for me was the one. He was also very academic and I am very creative - I wanted donor to have different qualities from me to give Ottilie the best of both."
Annabelle's positive test (TFP Fertility/SWNS)Annabelle had all the blood tests and scans before her egg retrieval, and her PCOS meant she could produce more eggs in one go and they retrieved 32 eggs. She then underwent an embryo transfer - taking the fertilized egg and sperm and implanting the newly formed embryo into her uterus - on January 2023.
Unfortunately, Annabella had an early miscarriage so she went back for a second transfer in April 2023 and found out she was pregnant three days later on April 28. Annabelle is sharing her motherhood journey on Instagram at @solomamajones. Annabelle said: "I had the same nurses each time I went in for an appointment at TFP Fertility, and they would recognise me straight away making me feel very welcome and putting me at ease. It is an emotional rollercoaster but when you get the end result like I have it is the best thing.
"I would do it a million times over. I was nervous at the beginning as I tested so early, I tested on day three. Because it was so early those two weeks were so hard, I was taking around two to three pregnancy tests a day but I still had a positive mindset. It was amazing to get to my due day and have no scary situations beforehand.
Annabelle Jones, 30, in hospital (TFP Fertility/SWNS)"It was the calmest most beautiful moment I have ever experienced. It was something I had been waiting my life for. I still look at her now and think 'how are you mine and how did I get through this journey'. I want everyone to be able to experience this - it gives you hope."
Annabelle still has 11 frozen embryos, however, due to haemorrhaging after the birth, has said she is unlikely to use them as Ottilie is her priority now. "My message to anyone with endometriosis is to have hope," she said. "It might just take a bit more strength and be a more draining process, but it is all worth it in the end. It is the best decision I ever made and I am forever grateful. That's why I chose Hope as one of my baby's middle names."
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Endometriosis is a chronic condition that impacts 1 in 10 women of reproductive age in the UK, where tissue from the womb grows around the ovaries and fallopian tubes. Dr Marco Gaudoin, Medical Director at TFP GCRM Fertility, and The Ribbon Box are hosting a free webinar, 7pm 6th March 2024, to chat through endometriosis treatment options and fertility care possibilities.
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