'My daughter won't speak to me after wanting to cut up my wedding dress'
One woman's big day has been thrown into chaos over her plans to transform her mother's wedding dress.
Tying the knot is stressful enough, without the added hassle of family drama. There's the catering to sort, a guest list to organise, and trying to find a venue that doesn't blow the lid off your budget that can seem impossible. But one mother of the bride has made things worse by going back on a promise she made over a year ago.
Taking to Reddit, the mum explained she promised to donate her wedding dress to her daughter - now 25 - when she was just 13. However, the mum noticed her clothing style gradually became 'more manly' as she started refusing to wear dresses or skirts in her late teens.
The mum says she has always 'supported' her daughter's expression such as wanting 'short hair and getting tattoos'. However, she was left horrified when finding out her daughter wanted to turn her wedding dress into a suit, by removing the skirt portion so the bodice could be worn with trousers.
"At first I agreed but dragged my feet bringing the dress over. After a few weeks, I changed my mind and told her that the dress was important to me and I didn't want her to ruin it," the post reads. "When I promised her the dress it was because I thought she would wear it as a dress, and she will only get to wear it if it is a dress."
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The mum says her future daughter-in-law can use the dress, but she doesn't want her own daughter to 'ruin it'. "She has since not been answering my messages except by saying that the dress would be a connection to her dad (who died when she was young) so she is disappointed not to have it," the mum added. "I offered to go dress shopping with her for a replacement but apparently some of our family think I am stopping her from having the dress because I disagree with her being masculine."
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Hundreds took to the comments section to share their thoughts, with many backing the mum's decision. "There is a difference between a dress and a length of cloth," one person wrote. "You promised her your dress, not a piece of fabric which can be moulded into something else."
Another commented: "You offered to 'lend' or let her 'use' your dress - not tear it apart in a way that destroys it forever ." While a third added: "I think you're within your rights to simply tell her that the dress has terrific sentimental value to you and you'd like it to remain intact."
However, others disagreed with the mum's approach, arguing her daughter should be allowed to alter it in whatever way she prefers. "What are you saving it for? To be donated after you are gone for a stranger to alter into something else? Your daughter wants to honour you by making your wedding gown into her own," one user wrote.
"Realistically you're never wearing the dress again," another wrote. "It's sitting in a closet while it could go to good use and make your daughter happy on her wedding day. A third even suggested the mum's reluctance to let the dress be altered was more to do with the fact she's 'uncomfortable' with her daughter wanting to dress more masculine. Another agreed, adding: "A whole lotta homophobic dog whistles in this post."
Who do you think is in the wrong? Let us know in the comments section below
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