'My brother's wedding date clashes with my holiday - he's so self absorbed'
A man has defended his decision to not attend his brother's wedding - and people are very much on his side.
Reaching out for advice, the 29-year-old revealed he is preparing to embark on the trip of a lifetime - a month-long trek through South America, which he has been planning for over a year. However, just recently, his older brother threw a major spanner in the works by announcing his last-minute plans to marry.
"My brother (31M) has always been the spontaneous type, which is cool but sometimes frustrating," he wrote anonymously on Reddit. "Out of the blue, he announces he's getting married. Like, in a month. And yep, you guessed it, right smack in the middle of my trip. He's known about my trip since I booked it, but his planning (or lack of) meant he didn't think to check the dates against mine."
The man spoke to his brother to let him know he wouldn't be able to make it. But his sibling "flipped", saying it's a big family moment and that he should be in attendance. "My parents are siding with him, saying I can go on a trip anytime, but his wedding is a one-time thing. They're pushing me to cancel my trip and attend the wedding," the man revealed.
Explaining his dilemma, he continued: "Here's the thing, I've put a lot of time, money, and effort into planning this trip. It's not just a vacation; it's something I've dreamed of doing for years. On the other hand, I get that weddings are important, and I do feel bad about missing his big day.
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"I suggested maybe they could consider a different date, but that was a no-go. They've already put deposits down and sent invites. Now I'm being made out to be the bad guy in the family for sticking to my plans."
The Reddit community were quick to reach out and offer support and advice. "Why do people who plan last minute events expect everyone else to just agree with it and adjust their schedules. Not the a*****e," one person wrote.
A second added: "His inability to consider others' plans before making his own means that sometimes people won't be able to attend his poorly planned events.
"If it was truly important to him that you attend his wedding, he would have asked you if the date worked for you. Clearly he thinks only his plans and his life are important because he expects everyone to drop everything when he demands. It's long past time for him to learn otherwise."
A third suggested: "Tell your family to pay you for refunds if they want to care about you being there. Otherwise, GO ON YOUR TRIP!"
A fourth said: "If you plan your wedding right smack in the middle of your brother's trip, that you have known about for a year, he won't come."
A fifth echoed: "If you plan it last minute, some people won't be able to come. Just like if you plan a destination wedding, some people won't be able to come. If you plan a child free wedding, some people won't be able to come. If you plan it at venues lacking in accessibility, some people won't be able to come. You ensure you can accommodate the people you really really want to come and even then there's no promise. They all need to grow up except OP [original poster]."
And another concluded: "If he truly valued OP being there then he wouldn't have booked a wedding in the middle of his brother's trip in the first place. He's just self absorbed."
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