'I didn't let husband in delivery room during birth – he's unreasonably annoyed'
A woman who banned her husband from the delivery room when they had their first baby has told how she has been left shocked at her partner's reluctance to have another child. The 29-year-old said that she told her 31-year-old spouse when she was at eight months that she only wanted her mother and the medical team present.
She said that he seemed surprised and hurt, but at the time, just said "OK" and didn't argue with her decision. BUt come the time when she went into labour, her mum called the ambulance and accompanied her to the hospital. She also messaged the husband at work letting him know labour had begun, but he didn't respond and he didn't call or text either of them during the labour.
Writing on Reddit, the woman said: "When I finally gave birth a few hours later, my mother informed him via text message, he simply replied with 'OK'. He didn't come to visit us. I thought he was still upset and would visit us later. The first time he came was when I was discharged from the hospital a few days later and he came to pick us up. He didn't even acknowledge our baby.
"I expected some sort of emotional encounter between them, when I asked why he didn't even hold our child, he said I had already stolen from him the first encounter and that I wouldn't have the privilege of witnessing another."
The 29-year-old mum said that her husband has turned out to be an "incredible parent" but when she tried to open a discussion about having another, he expressed his reluctance. When she pressed her spouse about the subject, he told her "did you think I would let you stop me from witnessing the birth of another child in this world".
'I gave birth in a car stuck in traffic - my baby ended up inside my trousers'
She said that the 31-year-old's attitude made her wonder if he was using her not letting him witness the birth of his first child as an excuse for not wanting to have another child. She asked fellow users of the site: "I understand he may have been hurt by not being involved in the birth of our first child, but is it fair for him to use that as justification for not wanting another child?"
And if she had expected to get any support from other posters on her thread, she was mistaken, with most of them saying she was totally wrong and that all she done was put her relationship in jeopardy. One person wrote: "It sounds like he’s not against having a second child. He’s against having a second child with you," while another scolded her, saying: "As woman who recently gave birth, if you inform your husband that he makes you so uncomfortable that you don't want him anywhere near you when you bring your collective child into the world, you are likely to do irreparable damage to your relationship."
There were so many comments saying that she was the a*****e for doing that to her husband that the now regretful mum added: "Ok, I understand. I'm an a*****e and I'm wrong. I shouldn't have let my fears and comforts come before my husband's feelings. I'll apologise and suggest couple's therapy. Anyway, the idea of having another child is far off until I solve the problem I created and regain his trust."
But even then, some posters were not impressed with her apparent mea culpa, with one saying: "Make no mistake, she's only suggesting therapy because she sees it as a tool to manipulate him into doing what she wants. She has absolutely zero concern for his feelings," while another said: "Right – she’s going to do therapy to play nice until she can use him to get pregnant again. Then it’s back to being selfish and not giving a s**t about his feelings."
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