Teen heartbroken by dad's loveless response after reaching out for support
A daughter has been left heartbroken by her estranged father's response after reaching out to him after years of no contact. The 19-year-old said that her dad now lives in another country and that she had not seen or heard from him for 14 years.
She said she contacted him when she was 17 because she was so low with her illness that she was hoping he would give her some emotional support, while knowing that actually meeting him was almost impossible because of the physical distance between them. But what he said to her when he replied on Facebook left her shocked and in anguish.
Writing on Reddit, she said that her father told her: "I have new children and if one day they meet you, I will tell them that you're my friend, not my daughter." She said that allowed her to know that she was unwanted and made her delete her profile on the site because she was not going to try to have a relationship with him. The daughter added that his wife already knew he had a kid and it was just their daughters that didn't because they're still young.
She said: "I was stupid for reaching out to him at the first place, thinking It would make me feel better. I've had multiple surgeries ever since I was a kid. It sucks and is heartbreaking knowing he was in another country being a father to someone else while I was in the hospital, battling with this disease.
"He sent a picture of him and his new children at the beach and they seem to be having a really good time. They looked happy. I'm an only child so I pretty much have no one other than my mum. He was neglecting me all my life. He also never pays for anything. He even asked me, 'Do you text me because you want my support or because of money'. I didn't even mention anything about money to him. All I wanted was a father. But not anymore, I've learnt my lesson. Sometimes it keeps me up at night, what did I do to deserve this"
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Other users of the site said they were disgusted with his behaviour, but that it was all too common nowadays, and some advised her to check what laws in his country and hers govern the financial liabilities a father has with regards to a child. One person said: "There’s a name for fathers like this – sperm donor. Based on the things he’s said to you, it sounds like he did you a favour by staying away. Just imagine the trauma his 'real' kids endure being around this piece of s**t all the time. Cherish your mum and others who hold you dear. They’re the only ones who matter. This clown isn’t worth your time."
Another advised: "Make sure you have papers in order. For example in my country he may not regard you as daughter but if he died you receive the same share of heritage that his other kids do. I know it's different in different countries but in my country this law was made so that illegitimate and adopted kids receive their fair share."
Yet another agreed with trying to hold him financially liable for her, saying: "Only issue is that you have to prove you're the biological child. Which was an issue in the past but not any longer. Because genetic tests can be done post-mortem and also with genetics of his other kids. But if you have the papers ready (eg if he is on your birth certificate) that spares you the hassle. So would be worthwhile investigating this."
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