'I cracked and bought my son his first phone - we shouldn't send mixed messages'

24 February 2024 , 20:05

483     0

Parents may wonder when the right time is for their child to have a mobile phone (Image: Getty Images)

Reader, I cracked. I didn’t want my 11-year-old to have a mobile phone - EVER.

Of course, we all know they are an addictive gateway to hellsites and bullying and grooming and porn and all the other terrible things in the world. I also don’t want him to turn into a zombie or walk into a lamppost (I have done this).

But as he started secondary school, it seemed to be the "done thing" with the school even pushing the need for a smartphone in the classroom. We agonised, as every parent does. Technology is advancing! We can’t hold our kids back. Will he be mocked if he’s the only kid without one? Will he miss out on a Very Important 11-year-old social event?

But will YouTube be the death of full sentences and will he want Insta-fame over *insert any proper job?* With promises to launch a helicopter parent monitoring system to make any MI5 agent proud, I handed over my old iPhone in its new Arsenal case.

The school has since u-turned, with phones now kept in lockers all day - and it seems the Government agrees. Launching a crackdown this week, Education Secretary Gillian Keegan’s non-compulsory guidance said
phones should be banned "not only during lessons but break and lunchtimes".

Nursery apologises after child with Down's syndrome ‘treated less favourably’

I couldn’t agree more. There is nothing more depressing than seeing a group of people - especially young people - all ignoring each other with their heads bent towards a flickering screen. They should be kicking a ball around or actually talking to each other.

Of course, I am a terrible influence. *Checks phone again. While Keegan suggests staff shouldn’t use phones in front of pupils, at home I am constantly failing to do better. “Mummy, why has Daddy fallen asleep with his phone on his face?”

*Mummy does not answer because she is "checking important work emails" - aka, doing Wordle or responding to 450 WhatsApp messages about lost sports kit, a weekend away or... ok sometimes playing Candy Crush. Don’t judge me.

As adults, we can feel like slaves to our phones (sometimes I want to lob it into a lake), but kids don’t need this yet. Schools should remain a safe haven from uncontrolled viewing, disruption and outside influence.

Phones wreck concentration and schools can still teach IT on shared in-house devices. We all try to impose rules - age-appropriate apps, no phones in bedrooms or at dinner, but is it enough?

Parents need help, we need the schools on-side. Children won’t grow up to be tech imbeciles just because they couldn’t make a TikTok video at lunchtime. Off their phones, they might learn so much more.

Sara Wallis