'I wore a grey sari to a wedding - but mean girls said I upstaged the bride'
A woman has told how a group of ‘mean girls’ and a bride made her feel ‘unwanted and unwelcome’ at her first Western wedding. After telling how she had been careful to avoid any cultural clashes or gaffes, she had asked the groom – her friend – for the dress code beforehand, being told to ‘dress up to the nines in neutrals and pastels.’
After finding a grey sari she believed would perfectly fit the wedding guest bill, she sent him a picture and was relieved when he replied saying it was ‘perfect’. She also told how five months before the wedding, she had also shown the bride-to-be her choice of dress, asking if it was appropriate, and telling her she would be happy to buy something new if it wasn’t: “She said it was delightful and she'd be glad to have some 'culture' added to her wedding pictures,” she recalled.
On the big day itself, however, the glamorous guest was shocked when the bride changed from her wedding dress into a pale grey dress at the reception, in the same colour and fabric as the outfit she had shown her she was wearing. She said: “The majority and outer layer of her gown was still white, but the embroidery was the same colour as my saree and the underneath fabric had a hint of the same grey as mine.”
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After telling how the groom, his mother (who was half Indian and was also wearing a sari) and their friends had all complimented her on how good she looked, she recalled having a very different reaction from the bride and her friends: “The bride gave me the stink eye. A bridesmaid tried to spill her drink on me. Another asked if my outfit was going to turn out white in the pictures. When we showed up to get group pictures done, I thoughtlessly ended up standing next to the couple. The bride made moves so that I ended up at the very corner by the time the photographer started clicking.”
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She also told how, when it came to the bride throwing the bouquet, her Maid of Honour asked her if she would be catching it, as she hadn’t got enough attention that day. She said: “On our way back, I asked my friends if my behaviour or outfit was inappropriate. They didn't think anything of it.”
After telling of her wedding woe on Reddit, the guest was met with a ton of support: “You just met a school of mean girls,” said one. “There is no telling what such people will get up to. I think you had taken every possible precaution with your outfit, in fact much more than most people would have.”
Another questioned the bride’s behaviour, commenting; “If my spouse had acted like that, I’d really want to know.” Another suggested she might have just looked too beautiful for them to handle: “How can anyone consider dove grey close to white? You just looked too stunning is what I’m thinking and invoked a lot of jealousy from some mean spirited women.”
One agreed with the jealousy: “I wonder if the bride got jealous of any attention not being paid to her and hence why she had a change of mind / attitude?” Another said: “Their behaviour is not normal for Western weddings. You were very kind to ask them both about the dress. I never understand brides who want everyone else to never get complimented for their outfits. Sure, it's their wedding day, other people can't look nice?”
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