Dad who 'always knew' he'd get cancer diagnosed after brother's own scare

20 February 2024 , 16:50

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Gary with his brother Scott, who was also diagnosed with prostate cancer (Image: No credit)

A dad who had no signs of being sick has shared how his family's health battles helped him catch his own cancer early. He is now getting ready to run the London Marathon just one year after his treatment.

Gary Richardson, 45, a driver from Hornchurch, Essex, didn't feel ill before finding out he had prostate cancer in July 2022 when he was 43. But he "always knew" he would get cancer one day. His mum Glenda passed away from breast cancer in June 2009 when she was 56, and his dad Dave died in July 2021 at 70 years old after being told he had bowel cancer.

When Gary's brother Scott, who is 49, found out he had prostate cancer early in 2022, Gary decided to get a health check too. This led to his own cancer being found six months later. "I might have gone another five years without symptoms, and I don't know where I would have been in those five years," said Gary.

After having an operation to take out his prostate a small gland near the bladder in April 2023, Gary came home and saw the London Marathon on TV. Right then, he promised himself to get fit again and chose to run his first ever marathon to help raise money for Guy's Cancer Charity. As the 2024 TCS London Marathon in April gets closer, Gary is still getting used to his diagnosis. He wants to tell all men to not be scared to talk about their feelings or to ask for help.

"Don't be afraid to show your emotions, and don't be afraid to ask for help," Gary said. "For the first three months, I think I literally cried every day. I was just sitting there, going: 'I don't even know why I'm crying'." He also wants to say to men that they should find someone to chat with and really get to know their own body.

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Dad who 'always knew' he'd get cancer diagnosed after brother's own scare

Gary with his mum Glenda and brother Scott when they were younger (No credit)

Prostate Cancer UK says prostate cancer is the number one cancer in men. Every year, more than 52,000 men are told they have it. Gary didn't have any signs before and only went to get checked because his brother Scott found out he had prostate cancer when he was 46. He had tests called PSAs that check for a special thing in the blood, and lots of scans and biopsies. In July 2022, doctors told Gary he had prostate cancer too.

When they got the news, Gary's wife Alison cried, but Gary wasn't surprised because he thought it might happen since it runs in his family. "I always knew I was going to get it; I wasn't scared of the word like a lot of people are," he shared. "A lot of people don't like to say it, but it doesn't bother me, and because I had such a long period growing up with it, it was just a 'norm' to me almost."

Gary was watched over for a few months and then had a big operation at Guy's Hospital in April 2023 to take out his prostate. On the day of his surgery, he shared that he cried a lot and felt really scared, but the hospital staff were great and made him laugh. "I must admit, when I went through there, I bawled my eyes out, I didn't stop crying," Gary said.

"But the nurse was amazing. He took all the worry away immediately, just by making me laugh, and I even managed to see the surgeon beforehand. Everyone's professional, talking to you, keeping you comfortable, and that's about as much as I remember until I came around."

Gary with his wife and son (No credit)

The next day, Gary got to go home from the hospital. While resting, he watched the 2023 TCS London Marathon on TV and decided to run it in 2024, a year after his surgery. But it wasn't easy after his operation because he had to use a special tube called a urinary catheter for 10 days. He was told to walk to get better, but felt too shy to go outside with the catheter and also had trouble sleeping.

Gary spoke about the awkwardness of "the next embarrassment" where he had to wear pads, which come in different sizes based on the level of protection required. At first, he confessed, he had "no control" over his bladder, something he found "disheartening". But after a while, thanks to doing pelvic health exercises using an app called Squeezy, there have been some positive changes.

Being close with someone has also been tough, as he needs to use Viagra, and this takes "spontaneity out the question". But Gary wants men everywhere to open up more about these sensitive issues. "I think men should try and talk about everything," he told us. "The more you talk about it, the more recognised it is, and then the more understanding there is behind it."

Now that he's in remission, Gary acknowledges his family and mates for being super supportive, going "above and beyond" to help him during these tough times. To give something back to the team at Guy's Cancer Charity who supported him when he needed them most, he decided to run a marathon and raise money. Though he's still working on "re-learning" how to be himself again, Gary is really enjoying his training plan, even saying it's like "therapy". Right now he's running four times a week.

Gary with his friend Kerry who is also running the marathon (No credit)

Gary hopes that through him, more people can learn about prostate cancer and encourage fellow cancer survivors to take on new challenges and to "keep moving forward. I don't think you ever fully deal with (a cancer diagnosis), it will always be there," Gary admitted.

He said: "I know that the new me is not going to be as good as the old me, but I think once you realise that, there's more acceptance in yourself. I am using this as an achievement to mark getting through the year. You just have to keep moving forward and put one foot in front of another, both physically and mentally."