'I gave daughter a boy's name as I expected a son, my sister says I'm selfish'

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Her fiancé passed away 23 weeks into her pregnancy (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images/Image Source)
Her fiancé passed away 23 weeks into her pregnancy (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images/Image Source)

A mum has revealed how she gave her daughter a traditionally male name because she was expecting a baby boy. Having already picked the name before her child's birth, she thought it would be a shame to change it despite having a daughter.

Taking to Reddit to defend her decision, she said: "My entire pregnancy I was told I was having a boy. My fiance and I were so excited and he chose the name Warren for him saying he always pictured himself having a son named Warren.

"I love to sew and knit and made so much clothes with the name stitched in. I have pictures of him holding the onesies up and smiling with so many of them since we were planning to make a scrapbook." Sadly, tragedy struck when the woman was 23 weeks pregnant as devastatingly her fiancé passed away.

She continued: "It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me and I'm still processing it. I mourned for me and my son never having a father. It was horrible. I ended up also not delivering until 41 weeks having the most excruciating and traumatizing pregnancy and labor. At labor is when I found out she was a girl. It was so shocking.

"I had a home birth like we had planned to do. I have done everything like we planned to because I still feel him alongside me. Changing anything we planned feels wrong." The woman explained how she has been calling her daughter Warren or Ren for short for three weeks - but her previously supportive sister is now giving her "dirty looks".

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"She's my only family and the only support I have and she's giving me s*** over a name," she explained. "I'm getting her birth certificate done next weekend and my sister came over last night. I assumed to help but instead, she's pleading that I don't go through with the name and to use 'Wren' if anything and I'm setting my daughter up for failure and bullying.

"I explained how I'm doing this since my fiancé passed thinking our child was named Warren and I would be dishonoring our agreement and it was the name he chose which our daughter would love. And she's still saying I'm an a****le and being selfish and I should change it for 'her sake' and she's saying I love my fiancé more than I love my daughter."

Many people flocked to the comments section to give their input - and the mother probably didn't get what she wanted to hear. One person wrote: "You're grieving and that's fine, but maybe it's time to step back and reconsider your stance? The name is only meaningful to you, your daughter won't care about it at all aside from the fact she will get s*** for it.

"Chances are she'll change it as soon as she's able to and won't be thanking you for it." Someone suggested having Warren as a middle name to solve the issue, while another added: "I'm sorry but you're not the one who has to live your life with that name. Think of your daughter's happiness instead of your own."

A third wrote: "Children are little s***s who will use any excuse to tease and bully. No point in making it easier for them to do that." While another person commented: "I'd be less concerned about the bullying and more worried the daughter gets the impression that her father, who's passed and she will never meet, and her mother wanted a boy and she's not the boy they wanted. The name will just end up being a constant reminder."

Paige Freshwater

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