'My daughter's eating habits are crippling us financially – I hate her for it'

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The mum was finding it increasingly hard to cope (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images)
The mum was finding it increasingly hard to cope (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images)

A mum has told how her daughter’s ‘unbearable' eating habits are eating into the family’s finances, too, leaving them all ‘hating’ her for what she’s doing. After admitting that her nine-year-old daughter had been like this since she was two-and-a-half years old, she told how she suspects she is suffering from Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder (more commonly known as ARFID) – a condition characterised by the person avoiding certain foods – however she has so far failed to get a diagnosis or help from any doctors.

After revealing her daughter is ‘always hungry but won’t eat’ she told how a three-day anorexia workshop failed to offer any help to the ongoing issue, and now the family was suffering as a result: “If you give her food she likes, she'll eat until it hurts, but the food she likes is so expensive. I'm living on plain rice this week just to afford her food. Literally three times a day. My son hates her because of the food,” she said, admitting that the situation had even see her apply for financial assistance just to facilitate her daughter’s food requirements.

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With the mum admitting she was struggling financially she said: “I work over forty hours a week and after bills I barely have £70. At least fifty goes on feeding her and it never lasts her that long.” With the family dilemma causing stress to everyone, she continued: “I am so tired. I'm hungry. My son hates his life and he's told me so many times how much he wishes we could just let her starve.”

After saying she was taking them both to the doctors tomorrow so they could ‘express their feelings’ she said: “Then I can be called a bad mother and go home to a freezing house because we can't afford to eat and have heat. I hate my life. What did I do to deserve this?”

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After taking her tale to Reddit to see what others thought of her situation, many readers resonated with the daughter’s eating problems, highlighting the problems they also faced due to ARFID and other neurodivergent conditions.

One mum commented: “My son will only eat brown, orange and yellow foods. And they have to be crunchy. He has sensory processing disorder,” while another reader suffering from ARFID tried to offer support to the struggling mother: “In the ARFID and chronic illness communities I’m part of, which have an overlap in not having an appetite/nausea toward food, as well as in the loss of nutrition that comes with it, there's often a saying: ‘Fed is best, Nutrition comes next.’

Another reader also offered the mum her support: “Thinking of you mama. I know you’re doing your best and you might think you’re not. But I recognise it. Hoping it turns a corner soon.” One suggested that with that level of specificity, she should look into Autism Spectrum Disorder: “It is still very under diagnosed with women, those of lower economic standing, and even more so those of colour”.

One reader also suffering from ARFID, described the disorder as: “Eating with ARFID is like swallowing knives. You all need blood work done to establish any nutrition issues,” urged one. “Daughter needs a therapist to diagnose ARFID or other disorder. And you need access to a food bank and other tips for finding cheap or free food.”

If you're worried about your health or the health of somebody else, you can contact SEED eating disorder support service on 01482 718130 or on their website, Home - SEED | Eating Disorders Support Service.

If you or someone you know is struggling with body image or eating concerns, the National Eating Disorders Association's is available by phone or text at 1-800-931-2237 or by click-to-chat message at . For 24/7 crisis situations, text "NEDA" to 741-741.

Emma Rowbottom

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