'My last day is Saturday’ - Woman, 28, shares harrowing post before euthanasia
A 28-year-old woman said her goodbyes in a final post - before dying 'peacefully' at home with her parents and best friend by her side.
Lauren Hoeve, who lived in the Netherlands, was diagnosed with myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) in 2019, a long-term condition associated with a range of symptoms, including extreme exhaustion. She became well-known in the community for her emotional and honest posts about the debilitating condition.
In 2022, Lauren began documenting her euthanasia application back in 2022, opening up about how living with ME had affected her, while attempting to break the 'taboo' surrounding conversations about dying. She has now passed away, after leaving one final message for those who've supported her on her difficult journey.
The blogger died 'peacefully' at home with her parents and best friend by her side. (@dutchlauren/X)Writing on blog Brain Fog on January 24, announced her last day would be Saturday, January 27, following a multi-disciplinary consultation (MDO) process, where she thanked people for their support over the years.
Lauren wrote: "I chose to make the date and time public because you have all been so excited for this moment with me. I know from experience how supportive it can be to know when it is happening so that you can reflect on it for a moment or light a candle if you wish."
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She proceeded to ask followers to wait until after 2:30 pm on the Saturday before posting any 'commemorative pictures' or tributes - by which time she should have passed on. Lauren continued: "And please don't wish me a good trip, I wish I was going on a trip (a beach holiday would be nice) but I think I'm going back to what it was like before I was born: no existence, no consciousness. Ultimate peace. (That part was supposed to be the funny, light-hearted part of the post, but unfortunately, it turned dark again, sorry.)"
Lauren thanked readers for their support throughout her difficult journey (@dutchlauren/X)
She has had to face a number of hurdles with her application (@dutchlauren/X)Signing off her post, she concluded: "I would like to thank everyone who has been there for me during my illness - and especially in the time before I announced my euthanasia wish. Whether it was by having a nice chat with me on social media, by occasionally asking how things are going, by having deep conversations about suffering and death, or by sending nice animal videos when you couldn't find the words. Whether we have known each other long and well or only a little, it doesn't matter. You have made me feel less alone and I am very grateful for that."
An update has since been given by Lauren's loved ones, which reads: "Lauren passed away peacefully at 1.55 pm in the presence of her parents Leonie and Peter and her best friend Lau. We would like to thank you for your compassion and support. Leonie, Peter and Lau."
Although assisted dying has been legal in the Netherlands since 2002, the blogger had to face a number of hurdles with her euthanasia application. After first informing her GP of her wishes for voluntary euthanasia, Lauren, who lived with autism, anxiety, and ADHD, was told he would be unable to do it himself as her psychological conditions meant her case was more complicated.
Lauren was then placed on a waiting list to see euthanasia specialists but the coronavirus pandemic meant she had a longer wait. After being assessed by several doctors, Lauren was determined to be 'mentally competent' in April 2023, and her application was finally signed off.
In a separate blog post, Lauren's mother Leonie, who has previously lost her son, opened up about her grief, writing: "What is it like for me, as a mother, to now lose my second child? It's very sad and surreal. My mother's heart bleeds... Please know that we have done everything realistically possible to find a way out. She still wanted to get so much out of life, but she doesn't want to live to be 30 years old like this, let alone 60 or 80 years old."
She continued: "The only thing I see as a bright spot is that I no longer have to fear losing my children. I know where they are."
In her blog posts, Lauren explained how she preferred not to use the term Chronic Fatigue Syndrome to refer to her illness, as she felt it didn't adequately describe the challenges she had to endure.
As per the NHS website, those suffering with very severe ME may spend all their time resting in bed resting, being 'fully dependent on carers'. The website explains: "You may need help eating, washing, and going to the toilet; you may be extremely sensitive to light and noise; you may be unable to swallow and need to be fed using a tube."
In her final years, Lauren was vocal in asking people to show their support for relevant organisations carrying out clinical research and searching for a cure for ME. Organisations she championed included the Open Medicine Foundation (OMF), which fundraises to support 'open, collaborative research to find effective treatments and diagnostic markers for ME/CFS, Long COVID, and related diseases'.
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Lauren also used her platform to highlight the important work of the #MEAction Network, 'a global network fighting for equality for Myalgic Encephalomyelitis'.
A long-time Taylor Swift fan, Lauren's final wish was to see her idol in concert. As she was too sick to attend a live show, a Dutch ambulance charity was able to set up the next best thing - booking out an entire cinema so Lauren and friends could watch the film of Taylor's Eras tour together on the silver screen.
Expressing gratitude in an Instagram post, Lauren described it as a 'fantastic day', writing: "My 'junior jewels' T-shirt (inspired by a T-shirt worn by Taylor in the You Belong With Me music video), was made especially for this day by me and my mom. I had it signed by the friends who were with me that day. I added the names of other friends from my inner circle by trying to replicate their handwriting, so they could be with me in spirit. I also had a 13 on my right hand for good luck, inspired by Taylor too."
If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email [email protected] or visit their site to find your local branch
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