'I refuse to use my embarrassing first name - my mum and gramdma are furious'
A young woman has revealed how her mum and grandmother turned on her after they begged her to start using her first name, rather than her middle, but she refused. Taking to social media to ask if she was in the wrong, the 16-year-old explained that it was a tradition in their family to name the firstborn child after one of the grandparents of the same sex.
She wrote: “I was the first girl. My mum wanted to follow the tradition and my dad didn't. So I was named after mum's mum. My dad chose my middle name, Skye. Ever since I was in kindergarten I have used the name Skye instead of Nancy. My family called me Nancy for years anyway. But eventually, everyone else would ask for Skye when they wanted me.
“My teachers called me Skye. My friends. My friends' parents. Our neighbors. Our doctor. Everyone. So my family started calling me Skye too and sometimes Nancy would slip in but I personally never used it.”
The teenager revealed that while most people got used to calling her by Skye instead of Nancy, her mum and grandmother were still very upset. She went on: “Grandma said she felt like she didn't get her grandchild named after her since it was never used and my mum because she wanted the tradition too. But also, she doesn't like Skye, and only said yes to it as my middle name because dad didn't like Nancy and she didn't want to be unfair.”
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Skye, or Nancy, admitted that she had considered legally changing her name when she reached 18 but didn’t think it was worth the fallout. She continued: “Ever since Christmas my mum, grandma, and some other family members on my mum's side have suggested I should use Nancy again. Grandma told me it would mean a lot to her and she said I'm getting to an age where the name doesn't seem so bad or old.
“My mum told me Skye isn't really a name I should be going into my adult life using, and she said Nancy will sound so much better. She also told me it is my name, my real name, and it would be a pain to use a name that isn't my legal first name as an adult. Other family members said I should do it to make my grandma happy. Or I should do it because it seems like I'm rejecting my mum, which is weird to me.”
According to Skye, things came to a head for the family when her mum and grandmother pulled her aside for a chat and begged her to start using the name Nancy instead. She revealed: “They said I have used Skye for 11 years now and isn't it time to grow up a little and use my real name and use the family name? Mum told me it's embarrassing to her because some of her friends have asked why I hate grandma or my name so bad that I use my middle name like it's my name.
“I told them I don't want to be Nancy and will not start using it instead of Skye. I told them I am Skye and that might not be easy for them but it's what I prefer and I'm the one living with the name. I'm the person who has to introduce myself. My dad is on my side and has tried to get mum to back off. But she has been really unhappy since Wednesday and has been a little hostile since my refusal.”
Sharing her woes on Reddit, people were quick to wade in with their thoughts and opinions. One person suggested: “I am normally not a fan of ultimatums, but in this case, I would say ‘Mum.. .grandma... if you ask me about this again, I will legally change my first name when I'm 18 and my middle name won't be Nancy’." And someone else shared: “Controlling what someone gets called is for pets, not people. And traditions like this always make me roll my eyes anyway. There's never any value to them except pride.”
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