'I spent £100,000 to have a baby by myself - I don't need a partner'
A single dad has splashed out $125,000 (£98,300) to have a baby on his own, refusing to wait for a partner to make his dreams of having a family come true.
Matt Bonnen, 31, always dreamed of being a father, but thought his dream would be impossible after his four-year relationship ended. After a cancer scare and the tragic loss of his brother Christopher, also 31, in a drowning accident, Matt realised life was too short to wait for a partner to start a family.
He began exploring surrogacy agencies and chose an egg donor who looked like him. Despite an initial setback, Matt's surrogate, a 30-year-old woman, fell pregnant in February 2023. He attended all the scans, either in person or via FaceTime.
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Matt recently realised life was too short and he didnt need to have a partner to have a baby (Matt Bonnen / SWNS)
Matt carrying Noah out of the hospital (Matt Bonnen / SWNS)On October 14, 2023, Matt, who is gay, was there to welcome his son, Noah Christopher, into the world. Now three months old, Matt feels incredibly "grateful" for his son and has no regrets about going it alone, saying it's the "best decision" he's made. The proud dad, who runs a restoration company and splits his time between Miami, Florida and New York, US, said: "All my life I had this idea of having a family.
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"I played with Barbie and made them have kids. I always aspired to be a parent. I thought 'why can't I do this by myself?' Why do you have to wait for someone else to fulfil your dream? I want to invest in my happiness. Noah was so wanted. I feel that is beautiful. It's the best decision I have made."
Matt had been planning a life with his ex-partner before their relationship broke down. He said: "I wasn't happy with my life any more. I broke it off." He was then unexpectedly diagnosed with astroblastoma - a rare brain tumour - in December 2018 but had an operation to have the mass removed the same month.
Matt lost his brother, who was 31 at the time, in a freak drowning accident and it made him start to realise he could be a dad on his own. He said: "Life is too short to be so unhappy. Three years later when I was ready I knew I wanted to be a parent. I didn't find another person but I thought 'I think I can do this by myself'."
Matt was financially stable, had bought his own apartment and decided he wanted to have a biological child and started contacting agencies in 2021. He said: "I was missing that one thing."
He underwent six months of psychological testing to make sure he was "fit to be a parent" before handing over his sperm. Matt picked an egg donor who looked like him, saying: "It's like a catalogue. I felt most comfortable with how my family looks."
After freezing eight embryos, he chose a surrogate to carry his child. He shared: "The first one didn't take. The second one she took a pregnancy test and said it was negative. I was devastated.
Matt Bonnen, 31, with son Noah (Matt Bonnen / SWNS)
Matt Bonnen with little Noah at Christmastime (Matt Bonnen / SWNS)"She went to the doctors the next week and they said she was in fact pregnant. I was crying." Matt kept in touch with the surrogate throughout the pregnancy and was able to go to scans and see his son growing.
"It was amazing," shared Matt who witnessed Noah's birth on October 14, 2023. Baby Noah was born in Miami, Florida at 1.30pm - weighing 6lbs 2oz.
"It was a beautiful experience," recounted Matt. "As soon as he came out I saw myself in him. He looked like an angel. He was soft and glowing."
Matt stayed in the hospital with Noah for two days before bringing him home and has been caring for him ever since with the help of a nanny and his mum, Caroline, 55. He still keeps in touch with the surrogate sending her photos and FaceTiming her.
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Matt said: "She gave me a gift that I could never have myself. I'm so grateful for that. She'll always be a part of this." Matt admits he did struggle with fatherhood at first and found himself crying a lot.
He shared: "I believe men do get postpartum. People said 'you'll regret having him' or 'you'll miss your old life'. But I am so grateful. He's very soft spoken and very smiley. He has my eyes and my cheeks and the egg donor's mouth and lips. I'm obsessed."
Matt also mentioned he's open to a new partner, saying: "Whether a partner comes into my life now or later they'll join the family. They'll have to accept I am a father first. They can be an add on to the family."
* An AI tool was used to add an extra layer to the editing process for this story. You can report any errors to [email protected]
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