'I won't let my partner's dad's fiancé hold my newborn and she's making a fuss'

26 January 2024 , 18:17

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The mum alleges her partner's father's partner immediately picked up the newborn baby in hospital without washing her hands (Image: Getty Images)

A woman has revealed how she won’t let her partner’s dad’s fiancée hold her baby - and accused her of reacting poorly.

Reddit user coffeequeenT posted on the ‘Am I The A**hole subreddit, in which people share their anecdotes and ask the reddit community whether they are in the wrong or not. The 29-year-old woman here takes issue with her boyfriend’s father’s significant other - who she is referring to as ‘Jane.'

The woman had her first baby three months ago after a C-section in hospital. Throughout the birthing process and in the weeks after her baby was born, the parents of her significant other were “non-stop visiting” her and the baby.

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But the woman took issue with this, after Jane had made “no effort to reach out during the entire pregnancy and only ever texted me once the morning of the scheduled C-section." She claims that the moment Jane entered the hospital room she “runs over to the bassinet and grabs my few hour old baby from it without asking or even washing her hands."

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Exhausted from the labour, the woman didn’t say anything at the time - and went on to regret it. “Fast forward the next 6 weeks, they constantly wanted to visit… When they did visit they wanted to sit there, hold my baby and take photos. Jane would show up with gifts for the baby and my SO and nothing for me. And never once offering to help with anything or bring by coffee or food, nothing,” she explains.

'I won't let my partner's dad's fiancé hold my newborn and she's making a fuss'

The 29-year-old woman gave birth to her baby via a C-section 3 months ago (Getty Images)

She saw on Facebook Jane posting photos about how “nana loves her," while providing an inaccurate birth date in the comments. But the woman wasn’t so happy to see the photos up without her permission and asked for them to be taken down.

“Jane makes a huge stink over the matter saying she’s being targeted and 'everyone else' can post but her. I explained my stance and somehow it blew up into her feeling like she only has the title of a grandparent but can’t do the ‘duties’ of one.” The woman’s partner told his father that Jane should apologise, as there are boundaries to be respected.

But since the Christmas holidays, she hasn’t “heard a peep” from the baby’s grandparents - until this week, when Jane brought belated Christmas gifts to everyone other than the new mum. “I immediately knew she did this so I would see that she gave everyone a gift except me,” she said.

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“I sat on it for a day and thought about it all and decided I have received nothing but disrespect from her from the beginning and that I was: 1. Saying she isn’t welcome in our house again and 2. She isn’t welcome to touch/hold our baby.” The woman then proceeds to ask whether she is in the wrong in this situation - but the reddit community largely supports her.

MarvoloMiroirs said Jane had been “unnecessary and inappropriate," stating that for “entitled” people such as Jane, “you give an inch, they take a mile." The user added: “Cut her off. The more she complains the more valid you were in doing so. There are plenty of stories here you can find in which the children were submissive and it ended up causing a world of pain.”

Another user said: “You are the parent and you decide who you want and don't want around your child.” They also questioned the involvement of the woman’s father, questioning why it didn’t sound as if he had properly stood up for coffeequeenT.

One scathing user said: “Absolutely NTA [Not the a**hole]. Everything you've been saying about how Jane has been treating you makes my skin crawl. Why some people think they can utterly disrespect the mother of a baby and then still get access to that baby is insane to me.

“Has your partner been standing up for you against Jane? If he hasn't, he needs to start. You setting these new boundaries is the perfect opportunity -- it's his family so he needs to deal with them.” With a unanimous vote on reddit in favour of her actions, coffeequeenT can rest easy.