'My wife wants to leave our baby to go on 4 week holiday - she's so selfish'

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The new mum believed she deserved the month-long break from parenting (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
The new mum believed she deserved the month-long break from parenting (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A man has shared his 'shock and horror' after his wife told him she wanted to go on a month-long vacation. But it wasn’t that part that shocked him, it was the fact that she planned on leaving both him and their 16-month-old baby behind while she did.

The couple, both in their 30s, have been together for four years and split work 50/50, however he was keen to acknowledge that it was more physically challenging for his wife during the postpartum phase, and constant (regressive) breastfeeding: “Our daughter cluster feeds and doesn't like the bottle very much,” he said.

He also told how he was pro-therapy, and had already encouraged his wife to attend a few sessions to talk through the situation, with both his wife and therapist agreeing that she wasn’t suffering from postpartum depression.

He went on to admit that the news that she wanted to take a 4-week holiday had truly ‘blindsided’ him: “She said that she’s tired from feeling like a mum and wants to take a vacation for 4 weeks with her friend, based in Europe,” believing she had earned the break after giving birth and 1.5 years of being a mum. She said that she has her own savings and how she always dreamt of exploring Europe, so this is her chance and she wants her identity back.”

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After admitting the unusual revelation had resulted in a furious row, he revealed he had told his wife that after becoming a parent she can’t expect to have her single life back. “I would happily step-up and take on her share of childcare if she wanted to do a weekend trip or a spa day and would fully support that,” he said, before saying it wasn't enough for her.

"I told her if she wants to really do something about her savings, it would be great if WE could do something, maybe as a couple, or a family together because I also deserve a break as much as she does.” After telling his wife he thought she was selfish, he admitted to her that he couldn't stay in a relationship with someone unable to compromise on the situation.

“She started crying and told me she wants to feel like herself again. It seems that she does not want to accept things as they are. I suggested maybe she could get therapy.” The man’s startling story caused quite a controversy on Reddit, with many readers questioning her true motives. “Have you really considered what you will do if she books the trip anyway?” said one.

“Are there any third parties that she would be willing to talk to?” while another answered, saying: “She is definitely willing to talk to a third party. Unfortunately for her husband, it's her travel agent.” One reader said it sounded like she was having second thoughts about her life decisions: “Before leaving for a long vacation, she needs to speak to a professional provider. A one-month vacation will not fix what is going on.”

One commented: “If she’s willing to leave her baby for a month, she’s willing to leave her partner permanently,” while one reader, who admitted their own parents hadn’t left home for a week until they were nearly in their teens said: “A month is unfathomable to me before high school honestly. Lawyer up and get ready for the inevitable.”

Emma Rowbottom

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