Barbara Windsor's widower learning to love again with EastEnders star partner
She was a national treasure and very much part of TV royalty, so when Dame Barbara Windsor died three years ago, many of us mourned as if we had lost a loved one.
So put yourself in her widower Scott Mitchell’s shoes. He was by the late EastEnders and Carry On star’s side throughout her struggle with Alzheimer’s, caring for her right until the end. But out of Scott’s grief and sorrow has bloomed new love as he is now in a relationship with Babs’ former soap colleague Tanya Franks.
And Scott is full of praise for his new partner for accepting the fact Babs’ will always be a huge part of his life. The couple went public with their love last summer but Scott he still visits Barbara’s grave regularly to speak to his late wife.
Scott and Barbara at the Mirror’s Pride of Britain awards in 2015 (UK Press via Getty Images)He reveals: “I got into a new relationship last year. I’m very happy, she’s a wonderful lady who knew Barbara and is very understanding. It can’t be easy to be with someone who was the other half of Barbara Windsor, especially the fact that I still put myself out there and talk about her. So, it says to me the type of person that Tanya is, that she can deal with that. She’s very sure of herself as a person. Just because you’re not with someone for whatever reason, it doesn’t mean to say that you just switch off some valve of love. There’s always going to be a place for Barbara in my heart. I might turn the TV on and suddenly she’ll be there and it takes my breath away sometimes, because I’m not expecting it.”
Tanya, 56, has had major soap roles in Family Affairs and as Rainie Cross in EastEnders, as well as an award-winning part in BBC Three comedy Pulling with Sharon Horgan. She first met Scott, 60, when they worked together to raise Alzheimer’s awareness, being pictured together after running the 2019 London Marathon for the cause. They became friends at first before romance blossomed last year.
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Speaking to Kaye Adams on her How to be 60 podcast, Scott said: “I think we all have to be very careful when we make judgements. It’s different for everyone. As far as I’m concerned, I started losing Barbara many years ago. I’ve been grieving her since that day of diagnosis [in 2014]. It’s like eight years of grieving, how long can I grieve for? I know [Barbara] wanted me to be happy, I know I deserve to be happy. It doesn’t take away anything that we shared. All of our lives go by very quickly and we can be held back by worrying what others might say. You’ve just got to live your life.”
Scott, who was married to Barbara for 20 years from 2000, told How to be 60 she began to suffer memory loss in 2010 and was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s four years later.
He said: “She reached her hand over to me. She had tears in her eyes and she said, ‘I’m so sorry, darling’. I said, ‘Don’t ever be sorry’. I went back and saw the neurologist four days later and I just sat down and wept. I said, ‘I don’t want her to ever forget me, or who she was and how much she gave to people with enjoyment of what she achieved in her life’.”
Scott, who was an actor himself when he first met Dame Barbara in 1992, said he initially found it hard being the partner of one of the most famous women in Britain, particularly as they had a 26-year age gap.
Barbara and Tanya in EastEnders (Instagram/ @tanyafranksruns)“I went through some really tough times. I had a drink problem and a drug problem – I had to get sober twice,” he told Kaye. “I won’t say that was because of the relationship, but certainly there was a hell of an amount of pressure on me. When I was younger, other people’s opinions mattered to me. So when I was aware there was this gossiping and eye-rolling and sniggering, it did affect me. I’d have to be half cut before I even went out to an event with Barbara. If I was sloshed it wouldn’t hit me, but I’m pleased to say I’ve just turned 22 years sober and clean.”
With Tanya after London Marathon in 2019 (NurPhoto via Getty Images)
Tanya as Rainie (BBC / Kieron McCarron)Scott admitted he found it hard looking after Barbara at home as the disease progressed. He recalled: “I can remember wanting to scream and I was screaming inside my head, ‘For f***’s sake, let this stop’. I wanted to run out of that door sometimes and never stop running. But there’s no way I would have done that, because I cared and loved this lady so much and it wasn’t her fault what was happening. The first time she ever looked at me genuinely confused and said, ‘Who are you?’, that was the day I dreaded from diagnosis. It was hard and painful and I still remember it to this day. It still turns my stomach.”
Scott, who lives in central London in the house he shared with Barbara, says of his visits to her grave: “I have a little chat to her and fill her in on all the gossip. I do feel that she’s always around. I know she’d be happy to know I’m happy now and feeling more settled.”
He went on: “I think the work we’ve done with Alzheimer’s is really important for her legacy. We now have the Dame Barbara Windsor Dementia mission, which is Government funded. We’ve doubled the money for research. I hope her legacy’s going to be a lot more than her bra flying off in Carry on Camping, although what a legacy that was!”
- Kaye Adams: How to be 60 is available on all podcast providers.
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