'I was stalked by two men - they thought my pole dancing job made me easy prey'

29 December 2023 , 13:36

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Sabrina Cowley, 43, from Mere, Cheshire was harassed by Matthew Hardy in a five-year campaign

A mum who has twice been the victim of stalking and harassment believes her job and her looks give men the idea they can behave badly towards her.

Sabrina Cowley, a 44-year-old single mum of three from Cheshire, runs pole-dancing classes. Over the past few years she has been stalked twice, by two different men. She believes women should be able to celebrate their bodies, without fear of men over-stepping the mark. In November 2022, Simon Rowland, 50, admitted harassment without violence against Sabrina.

He was a school-run dad who made lewd comments about Sabrina’s short skirt and invited her to his hotel room. And in January 2022, Matthew Hardy appeared before Chester Crown Court in relation with harassment against Sabrina and others and was jailed for nine years. Sabrina, from Knutsford, Cheshire, says: “The stalking by Hardy was horrendous. It affected me mentally; I became too scared to let my children go outside. I was scared all the time. I only met Hardy once and he formed an opinion of me.

Sabrina only met Hardy once for five minutes before he launched blistering online attacks

Simon Rowland was sentenced to a community order and issued with a 12-month restraining order

"The second time, I met Rowland in the school yard, and we chatted politely. After that, he seemed to think he could do just as he pleased. I live in a small, close-knit town and my pole dancing classes are advertised. I think certain men think they can behave how they like because of my job. In their eyes, that makes me easy prey.

"The fact that I’m single, and I work hard on my figure, all adds to the misconception. But I won’t let my stalkers win. I will dress however I feel comfortable. Men need to know there are boundaries. A mum in a short skirt is not a mum asking to be groped or harassed. I’m proud of my figure and I’m proud of how I look. Women should celebrate their bodies without fear they’ll be punished for it.”

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Hardy set up dozens of profiles and messaged Sabrina accusing her of having affairs

Sabrina believes women should be able to celebrate their bodies without fear

Catfish Matthew Hardy almost ruined Sabrina’s life as part of an online five-year campaign in which he accused her of having an affair with an ex-boyfriend of her late mother. As a result of daily harassment, Sabrina’s relationship broke down and she was unable to enjoy the birth of her third child. In thousands of social media messages, Hardy accused her of having affairs with many people she knew, including her best friend’s husband and her late mother’s ex.

Bizarrely, the harassment was triggered by an innocuous five-minute meeting between the pair, which barely registered with Sabrina at the time. Sabrina says: “He absolutely ruined my life and dominated my thoughts for five years. He set up accounts pretending to be me and sent messages to my friends and family and even my children.

Matthew Hardy was sentenced to nine years in prison after pleading guilty to stalking involving fear of violence and harassment

“He also set up accounts in my friends’ names and messaged me pretending to be them. The level of research he carried out to discover small details about me was mind-blowing and it made me so afraid that he would hurt me or my family. I hated letting my children out of the house, even to go to school. I barely slept and I was forever checking for him in the street. My life was completely controlled by him. He met me once only, and he formed an opinion of me.”

Hardy admitted three counts of stalking with intent to cause alarm or distress, two counts of stalking without intent to cause alarm and breaching a restraining order from 2013, which banned him from using false details on social networking sites. He was jailed for nine years at Chester Crown Court, for stalking Sabrina and other women. He also admitted stalking a further four women, which was taken into consideration upon sentencing.

Sabrina described how a five minute meeting led to a nightmare of stalking and harassment

Relieved her nightmare was over, Sabrina began to rebuild her life, including returning to her work as a pole dancing instructor. But a couple of months later, her nightmare began again. She at first thought Simon Rowland, 50, was just a friendly parent when he began chatting to her in the schoolyard.

But she soon became uncomfortable after he made lewd comments about her skirt and gave her his hotel room number. She says: “He was fine at first, just another parent, but then he started saying: ‘Hello beautiful’ and telling me how nice I looked. I am used to men occasionally trying to overstep the mark, thinking they can push it, so I gave him the cold shoulder.

“But one day, I was leaning into my car, clipping in my daughter’s car seat, and he came up right behind me and said: “Well, Christmas has come early. It was really cringey. I was shaken up and I told him he was being inappropriate. I tried to ignore him for as long as I could, but it got very awkward in the playground. It was cringey at first but then I started to feel intimidated and anxious.

“Another time I saw him, and he gave me the number for his hotel room and asked me to join him. Days later, he tapped on my car window one day and told me: “You looked so fit in that little black skirt the other day. I’ve never come out of school with an erection before. I was appalled, and I decided enough was enough. I couldn’t even take my daughter to school without sexual harassment.

“It’s not ok for certain men to treat women like objects and say whatever comes into their heads. Attitudes have to change, and I hope I can help by speaking out.” In November 2022 Rowland, of Cheshire, admitted harassment without violence. He was sentenced to a community order and issued with a 12-month restraining order. He was also ordered to pay £395 costs.

Ann Cusack