'I stopped buying Xmas presents for my kids at ages 8 and 10, they'd had enough'

21 December 2023 , 20:26

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Kind-hearted Maya Manseau and daughter Lindsay, who was diagnosed with leukaemia (Image: Maya Manseau / SWNS)

A mum who listened to her kind-hearted kids and stopped buying them presents to instead donate to good causes while still enjoying a proper family festive time says she has no regrets.

Maya Manseau, 61, said that her family now donate an amazing £800 ($1K) to charity every Christmas as a result of that decision. Maya and her family decided to stop buying each other gifts in 2001 and her children – Lindsay and Megan – fully supported the decision and were never resentful.

Instead of opening a pile of presents on the big day, they eat and celebrate with family and Maya, a business owner said: "The first year we did it was just after the 9/11 terror attacks. "I sat my two daughters down and did the normal thing of asking what they wanted to do for Christmas.

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Maya Manseau, 61 and daughter Megan Dugas, 31 (Maya Manseau / SWNS)

Maya Manseau knows the true spirit of Christmas (Jen Dean Photography / SWNS)

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"The girls were like 'mum, we have so much' and we started talking about how we could help others. We decided to donate £1K ($1K) to the 9/11 fund instead of giving each other presents. The following year we found a charity where you 'adopt a family' and buy them a list of presents that they have asked for. The girls were totally on board with that.

"When we got the list we saw that the dad had written that all he wanted was socks and mittens and the girls were mind-blown. It was a really great learning lesson for the girls – to teach them about the basic necessities and giving. We loved going around and picking out the presents for the children and the parents."

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Maya's decision may not be for everyone (Jen Dean Photography / SWNS)

Maya has a new perspective on things (Jen Dean Photography / SWNS)

The family had to endure a very difficult festive season in 2000, with ill health forcing her family to take on a new perspective to life, especially at times where family are meant to matter most. Maya, from Maine, was struck down with a flesh-eating virus at the beginning of December after cutting her foot while cleaning out an old pool in Florida.

After two weeks in hospital and a course of antibiotics, she was put on antibiotics and was then flown from Florida back home. She said: "But I hadn’t done much Christmas shopping and I was worried that the girls would be upset. When I told them my eldest who was 10 at the time said 'mum, you’re here and you’re OK and that’s all I wanted for Christmas'."

Maya and her ex partner still did stockings for the girls and padded them out – calling them elaborate stockings – so the children didn’t wake up to having nothing to surprise them on the day. She added: "They would be filled with a few items of clothes, books, puzzles and stationary equipment and maybe one more expensive gift."

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Tragedy struck the family (Jen Dean Photography / SWNS)

However, tragedy struck the family in 2012, when Maya's eldest daughter, Lindsay, was diagnosed with leukaemia at the age of 23. She says it has made the Christmas holidays much harder, but continuing to give to others has helped her and the wider family to cope.

She said: "It fuelled my desire to continue helping all year round, I had lots of people step up to help me in a big way, and I’m always looking to return that support. We always try and help as many people as we can at Christmas and if we find out someone will be spending Christmas alone, we will want them to join us."

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And, of course, Maya’s favourite part of the festive season is being with family and cooking to make that special occasion be memorable. She said: "My mother-in-law, taught home economics in middle school and she used to love to bake and cook. As soon as my kids were old enough to stand on a chair with a little apron on, they cooked with her." Christmas hasn’t been the same for the family since Lindsay’s tragic death and this year Maya is publishing a book called Living intentionally after loss to help to teach others deal with the grief associated with the loss of a loved one.

Paul Donald