‘My wife wants to give our daughter the one name we can’t have’
There are thousands of names in the world, but picking the perfect moniker for your baby can be a tough task. And for one couple this is proving to be even more problematic and risk tearing their family apart.
Taking to social media to share the turmoil they are experiencing in selecting a name for their children, even though they are not currently expecting, one 31-year-old woman shared: "My wife and I are going to be starting the process to have kids in the new year.
"We know this will take time, patience, and some luck but we are very hopeful. We have our heart set on two kids, ideally one boy and one girl. I am planning on carrying both as she cannot be pregnant herself for numerous reasons.
"We are planners and have discussed names for ages. A boy name was always easy, Gregory. My wife has loved that name forever. And we just agreed on Hudson as a middle name.
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Not only is the naming process taking its toll on the couple, but also wider family members. The post continued: "In that time I got attached to the idea of naming a daughter after myself. Dads do it all the time and I have a pretty unique name with multiple nickname options that I would love to pass on. However, my wife is Jewish and in her culture, they don’t name after the living. I get that and understand it on multiple levels. The compromise is sharing my initials, LMS.
"We could never agree until one day my brother and his girlfriend, who are both 23 with no concrete plans and an on again/off again relationship, said their favorite name for a girl…Laurel. I saw my wife’s face light up and my heart sunk.
"We let it go for almost 2 years until a few days ago, thanksgiving. My wife went to them and told them the situation. Both of them refused to share. We explained that we have 4 Michaels and 3 Anthonys and 2 Tonys in the family…why not two Laurels? We offered to use the nickname El/Elle to prevent confusion if they want. But the answer is still no."
The partner is still not compromising, and there is an unspoken "competition" over who can claim their preferred name first.
The post went on: "I’ve tried different L names, she hates them all. Lydia, Lauren, Lillian, Logan, Lorraine. The only one she kind of likes is Leah but I’ve always disliked the spelling but don’t see a way to change it without being obnoxious.
"My wife is getting to the point where it’s going to be a race and whoever births a girl first gets the name. But that would cause a huge fight between us and my siblings even if my brother's gf is out of the picture because he loves the name too. I don’t think there’s a win here."
After sharing the predicament on Reddit, people were quick to air their thoughts, will several branding the argument "ridiculous" considering nobody is pregnant.
One commented: "If your brother picked out a name with his girlfriend and winds up having kids with someone else, I don't think the new girl would be too happy to know about the source of the name selection so you could definitely torpedo objections by dropping that information to the new mom.
"But also, this is just ridiculous - there is no need to be fighting (or even discussing!) names before anyone is even pregnant! Especially since it isn't even an honor name situation where someone tries to claim Grandma's name for their own. No one owns a name. Stop talking about it with anyone other than your wife. Good luck with family planning. Name your kid whatever you want when the time comes."
'I tricked my sister into giving her baby a stupid name - she had it coming'A separate user wrote: "I missed the part where NO ONE IS PREGNANT. Cross that bridge when you actually get there. Jeez louise. What a way to spend time making yourself miserable haha."
Another added: "This probably doesn't really matter to op's brother though. Although no one owns a name, it is kind of jerky to use the name op's brother said he loved and asked them not to use. It's hard to believe that out of all the possible names, oo and her wife can't pick any other name. In any case, no one is actually having a baby, so op should just drop the topic for a while, especially with people other than her wife."
A third weighed in: "What a strange situation... Sorry but TBH I am thinking: Are you guys looking for a name or for a reason to have nonsensical arguments? No one is pregnant, brother isn’t even in a stable relationship, nobody knows they’re ever going to have a baby girl, so … ?"