Son was happiest mum had ever seen during FaceTime - days later he was dead

04 November 2023 , 22:32

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Omar Sayeed Iqbal pictured with his mum Farah (Image: No credit)

A young man was the happiest his family had ever seen him during a call with his loved ones - but days later he tragically took his own life, his mum said.

Omar Sayeed Iqbal had made plans with his mum Farah and sister Afra on FaceTime to visit him at the University of Liverpool just days before he died. Despite appearing happy on the outside, Omar was fighting a hidden battle that no one knew about.

His mum Farah said: "Omar and I spoke every single day. On the Wednesday we had FaceTimed because me and my daughter, his sister, were coming up to visit him the following week. We were discussing plans and he was really excited.

"We were going up because he was desperate for me to take his sister up so he could show her around again. He was the happiest we'd known him, the time he'd spent in Liverpool."

Omar Sayeed Iqbal was just 21 years old when he took his own life (Family handout)

Farah, a social worker, regularly talked to Omar and his siblings about their mental health. However, she said: "There was no sense that Omar was struggling. He played sport, he went to the gym, he ate well." She added: "He was doing well at university and he had a lot of incredible and meaningful friendships which I have learnt even more about since his death."

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Omar was just 21 years old when he tragically took his own life on May 25 this year. A Liverpool inquest this week confirmed that Omar's cause of death was suicide. The young man spent the first five years of his life in Mossley Hill before moving to West London with his family. He returned to Liverpool for university and was lovingly described as a "London boy with a Scouse heart" by a close family friend.

His parents, Farah and Rashid, 53, were visited by the police who delivered the heartbreaking news of their son's death. Farah expressed her shock, saying: "It was an unfathomable shock." She added: "I think there's the shock of hearing that somebody you love is suddenly gone, which I appreciate can happen in lots of ways, but the added element of knowing that he took his own life had a whole other layer of harrowing tragedy really."

Farah further shared how Omar was perceived by those who knew him: "And in Omar's case, I think especially so because to everybody that knew him and loved him, which it seems there were lots, he was always this shining beacon of optimism."

She continued: "Everyone talked about Omar as the person that filled the room with his positivity and his smile. He was filled with plans for the future, for the summer and so that made it even more shocking." Farah concluded by reflecting on the complexity of suicide, saying: "I think the thing about suicide is it's so complicated and there are some men that hide whatever it is that they're feeling."

Omar pictured with his family including dad Rashid (far left), brother Talib, sister Afra and mum Farah on a camping holiday (Family handout)

Omar was just 15 when he was diagnosed with a rare neurological movement disorder called paroxysmal kinesigenic dyskenesia, which causes involuntary muscle spasms. Despite this, Farah said: "There was something fiercely resilient and strong about how he overcame the physical restrictions that a condition like that should have put on him. He never let those things stop him playing sport, football or going to the gym."

Farah and her family are now on a mission to raise awareness of suicide in men and men's mental health. Suicide is the leading cause of death in men under the age of 50 years old, according to the charity James' Place.

James' Place provides free, life-saving treatment to men in suicidal crisis at centres in Liverpool and London. Farah said: "We need to talk about suicide more. We need to be interested in each other's mental health and perhaps most importantly, we need to make sure that the appropriate support and services are available.

"There are young people of all ages that struggle and when they reach out for help they don't always get it in an appropriate, timely fashion." Remembering Omar, Farah described him as a talented musician who played the violin and piano as well as the trumpet and guitar. He loved music and cinema, was a skilled goalkeeper and a massive Liverpool FC fan.

Farah said: "He was an obsessive Red. If he was watching [the match] at home on TV we tended to avoid the lounge because if they were losing he sulked like a toddler. I like to think he chose Liverpool University because it was his birthplace but I think the truth is he just wanted to be as close to Anfield as he could. He was a very gentle hearted, kind man.

"I hadn't realised until after he died just what an empathetic person he was. People have told me how he had this incredible ability to be empathetic, to see people's pain. For me he lived 21 years but he lived a lifetime in those years because of the number of hearts he touched."

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Omar's friend Jonathan Peters ran the Dunstable Downs Marathon on Sunday, September 3, in his memory, raising almost £18,000 for the charity James' Place. To visit or donate to the Just Giving page, click here.

If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123.

Alternatively, you can email [email protected] or visit their site to find your local branch.

Mental health support services

James' Place supports men over 18 who are experiencing a suicidal crisis by providing quick access to therapy and support. Call 0151 303 5757 from Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 5.30pm or visit https://www.jamesplace.org.uk/

Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you're feeling, or if you're worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at [email protected].

CALM Campaign Against Living Miserably (0800 58 58 58) is a leading movement against suicide. It runs a UK helpline and webchat from 5pm to midnight 365 days a year for anyone who has hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support.

PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is an organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.

Hub of Hope is the UK's most comprehensive national mental health support database. Download the free app, visit hubofhope.co.uk or text HOPE to 85258 to find relevant services near you.

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* An AI tool was used to add an extra layer to the editing process for this story. You can report any errors to [email protected]

Chiara Fiorillo