Gaza diary of life in warzone as man shares fear of being killed in his sleep

04 November 2023 , 22:07

690     0

Mohammed Ghalayini, a British Palestinian stuck in south Gaza (Image: Supplied)

British civil servant Mohammed Ghalayini, 44, lives and works in Manchester as an atmospheric scientist on air quality policy for the UK government.

He has been trapped in Gaza since last month, while visiting family there, and has now penned a heart-wrenching diary for the Sunday Mirror detailing life on the ground there.

Monday October 30:

At my aunt’s in the south of the Gaza strip there are a few precious fragments of ‘normality’. Solar panels provide some electricity, the internet works and there is water in the roof tanks. But there are also 30 extra people sheltering there. We are all experiencing varying states of terror, denial, and coping strategies.

Every time I go to sleep, my main concern is whether I will wake up the next day or whether one of the US-supplied Israeli bombs will fall and kill me in my sleep. My mind races with different questions. Will I die from the explosion or shrapnel? Will I be torn apart by metal and glass or will I be crushed by concrete slabs? Will I die quickly or languish injured under the rubble? We’re worrying about basics like food and water – but will I also avoid this Guernica-style carpet-bombing?

Teachers, civil servants and train drivers walk out in biggest strike in decade

I am also worried about Israel’s ground offensive, and what will happen. There are already Merkava tanks on Salah Eddin Street into Gaza and I’m really worried about the days ahead. All I, and anyone of us here, want is to live with dignity and peace in our homeland, but every day makes that prospect seem further away, while the prospect of ethnic cleansing and genocide comes closer.

Strike close to IDF base near Lebanon

Tuesday October 31:

It was a rough night, with a lot of Israeli bombing both nearby. I heard a lot of machine gun fire too, suggesting an Israeli ground incursion is facing resistance. I’m quite numb to it now but it leaves me unnerved and on edge. Tonight, I am at my grandfather’s place. Rather than swapping voice notes and social media posts, I sat on the balcony under the moon, listening to the Israeli drones and circling jets and wondering if they can see me and whether sitting here in my boxers makes me seem like less of a threat to Israel’s mighty military.

My cousin joined me and we got lost in an analysis on whether the jet had any perceivable pattern that could help predict where the next bombs would fall. Now that would surely save lives. So would a ceasefire though.

Wednesday November 1:

Woke up to no phone signal yet again, but a message did come through overnight from the FCDO about ‘credible’ information of the Rafah border crossing opening. Thing is – it’s a real dilemma about whether to stay or go. I have always felt so weak and powerless being out of Gaza when Israel is attacking and now I feel like I have a role to play by staying here. Strangely, the Israeli onslaught has strengthened my resolve to stay. We drove to the border to get information, but our names were not on the list of approved travellers.

Two British NGO workers made it out and the Foreign Secretary made a massive deal about it. There’s such a double standard that the humanity of dual nationals is valued more, and more worthy of the British government’s efforts, than the humanity of over two million Palestinians at the mercy of Israel’s onslaught.

I miss my family members in Manchester, of course. I want a warm shower, clean water from a tap, and to be able to walk down the street without fear or worry. I want to meet my friends for a catch up and to moan about the weather. But I also feel that I am someone with the privilege of a British passport, and with this comes a huge responsibility to stand here with my people against Israel’s ethnic cleansing and genocide. I will stay in Gaza.

Thursday November 2:

There is a donkey living in the yard next to us. My cousin Nada asked me what donkeys get up to in England, and it made me remember walks to the donkey sanctuary near my house in Manchester.

Rishi Sunak must suspend Dominic Raab during bullying inquiry says union chief

Here, under Israel’s bombardment and blockade, donkey-drawn carts are being regularly used to get around, and bike sales are through the roof. I bought a bike for a slice of the normal life I left behind.

I asked my family what they miss from before. Abdullah, my studious 15-year-old brother, misses school. Abdelrahman, who is 12, misses his cats who are in the care of family members still in Gaza City.

There are seven street cats in our alleyway, and Abdelrahman has wasted no time getting them onside by doling out scraps when no one is looking.

With reports of Gaza City encircled by Israeli tanks and daily images of whole city blocks destroyed, I cannot help but wonder whether we will ever see the city and our homes again.

Friday November 3:

Today we said an emotional goodbye to my cousin Qassim and my uncle Musheir. They found out overnight that they were cleared to leave and so they went.

Being on the outside of Gaza looking in is tough, dreading the potential bad news that may come at any time. My cousin in Manchester jokes on the family group chat that rather than look out for news, she looks for our names on the daily record of those killed by Israel. Gallows humour.

I am continuing to do a lot of media interviews. In one interview with Adrian Chiles, I ended our conversation with a welfare check on Holly Willoughby. I haven’t been following the news in the UK but it turns out I share this concern with Rishi Sunak. If only he cared as much for the thousands of Palestinians killed by an Israeli military which continues to benefit from US and UK arms exports. I can hear more of the bombs falling now, as I put down my pen.

Patrick Hill