'My lesbian fiancée transitioned to be a man - but we've made it work'
A married lesbian couple decided to stay together after one transitioned to become a man, and argue that dating someone who is trans is "about as significant as dating someone with tattoos". Jordan Blackwood, 29, got together with partner, Rose, 24, in 2018 - when he was still living as a woman.
But for his entire life, Jordan had been harbouring doubts about his gender and opened up to Rose, a student, just as they started their relationship. He began taking testosterone three-and-a-half years ago, which Rose helps him inject, and has been on the waitlist of the gender clinic since May 2019.
The couple got engaged in February 2019, and at that point were still a lesbian couple. Jordan then began transitioning in 2020 and the pair got married just as his transition began.
They were initially a lesbian couple before Jordan began transitioning (Jordan & Rose Blackwood / SWNS)Jordan - who has worn a binder since 2017 - is also saving up to have top surgery in Poland, which costs £3,500 - around half the price of getting private top surgery in the UK which is nearly £9k. The pair say they have received negative comments "from all sides" and initially worried they may be rejected from the lesbian community as they are now a "hetero couple."
However, they have since found "much love and acceptance" from the lesbian and LGBT+ community. Jordan, who works in the construction industry, from Brighton, East Sussex, said: "Coming out as trans is one of the most liberating but hard things someone will ever do, but I am so glad to be on this journey finally."
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Rose - who is studying at Sunderland University to become a teacher - said: "Seeing how the everyday toll of not having a body that reflects who he is has on him has been hard. Jordan could have the best day in the world and it still would not be half as good as the rest of us as he is experiencing it in the shell of a body which is not his own.
"But when he came out as trans it was not an issue for me at all. To me it's about as significant as dating someone with tattoos. Why wouldn’t I want to support something that's going to bring him happiness and peace within himself?"
Jordan plays for the inclusive rugby team Newcastle Ravens (Jordan Blackwood / SWNS)
"We are just as valid a couple as anyone else on the street" (Jordan & Rose Blackwood / SWNS)Jordan said when he was a little girl he was always thought of as a "tomboy" and was savagely bullied by other kids. He said: "I went to school and got absolutely mauled by kids - I went against the social construct of what a young girl is supposed to be.
"I’d come home from school and just cry or sleep. Being young, I didn’t have a name for it, I just knew I was different which I hated." In secondary school, Jordan tried to compensate by wearing pink dresses and trying to present in an "ultra girly" way.
"This just made me even more unhappy," he reflected. After leaving school, Jordan says he was a masculine presenting lesbian. Jordan says he broached the topic of transitioning in a previous relationship but was met with "rejection" by his then-partner.
He subsequently decided to up sticks from his caravan in Medway, Kent, and move to Northumberland for a fresh start. It was there he met Rose and they got together as in 2018, when Jordan was 24. But Jordan still felt as though he wasn’t living as his true self. "We had the conversation a few months into our relationship about my identity, and I talked about how I felt as though I was in the wrong body," he said.
"Only this time, for the first time in my life, it was met with understanding and acceptance, rather than ridicule or confusion." With Rose's support, Jordan was ready to take the plunge and transition to become a man. He began taking testosterone and hormone blockers in July 2020 - which Rose helps him inject and which he will continue to take for the rest of his life. Once he started taking them his voice became deeper and his hair grew faster and thicker.
Rose said: "He was hungry all the time and his weight became distributed differently, and he naturally started to build muscle faster. Basically, he went through puberty like any other teenage boy!"
Jordan was 'mauled' by other school kids (Jordan Blackwood / SWNS)Jordan hopes to raise the £3,500 needed to undergo top surgery in the future too. Jordan said: "Getting the surgery will make a huge difference. It will mean I won’t have to wear a binder in the shower or to sleep and will have a body that reflects who I truly am – at the moment I'm very ashamed and don’t like the way I look.
"I would love to be able to go to bed without a binder on and feel the duvet on me. At the moment I can't even let Rose touch my back without tensing and freaking out and I never let her see me without a binder on." Jordan plays for the inclusive rugby team Newcastle Ravens and says the club have been amazing in helping his fundraising efforts, and on 17 November are supporting a drag artist fundraising event for Jordan’s surgery.
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The couple say since Jordan’s transition they have faced a backlash from "all different areas." Rose said: "Sometimes it feels like we're too queer to be classed as a straight couple but too straight to be classed as a queer couple, it was hard to figure out where we fit in."
Jordan has had some difficult conversations with family members and says his mum accidentally misgenders him on occasion but has been very supportive. "If she calls me 'she'. I just call her 'dad'," Jordan said. "My nephew has also said he’d show me how to shave - which is funny because he’s 13-years-old.
"The way I see being trans is like how some people are born diabetic they need medical intervention, but they are still just normal people, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them." Rose added: "We are just as valid a couple as anyone else on the street.
"We have dinner, we laugh, we argue - Jordan being trans is the least important thing about him. Trans people aren’t asking everyone and their mothers to know the ins and outs of hormone surgery they just want to live their lives." You can donate to Jordan's cause here www.gofundme.com/f/top-surgery-final-push
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