'I thought I was stressed at my mum fighting cancer - but I had the disease too'
A woman shared the moment she discovered she had cancer while her mum was also suffering from the disease.
Kimberley Findeis-Sparkes was diagnosed with breast cancer at the same time her mum was undergoing treatment for leukaemia. During this period, the 35-year-old single mum from Kent was dealing with “stress” and “depression” at having to watch, Wendie, 61, cope with cancer.
But the stress symptoms she was experiencing turned out to be the sign of a life-threatening tumour. It was only after she lost a stone in weight that she was able to feel the "very large" lump in her chest.
Kimberley after experiencing hair loss from chemotherapy treatment (Jam Press/Kimberley Findeis-Sparkes)
Kimberley hugging one of her sons (Jam Press/Kimberley Findeis-Sparkes)When Kimberley was eventually told she had a malignant mass in her body, she was heartbroken and could only think of her two young sons, Harley, 12, and Hugo, 10. “When doctors told me I had breast cancer, I was so scared that I was going to leave my babies and never see them grow up,” Kimberley said.
She added: “I had been feeling stressed and fatigued for five months but put it down to watching my mum go through leukaemia and resigning from my job to care for her. One night I was in bed suffering from very severe acid reflux.
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Kimberley’s mum, Wendie, who was diagnosed with leukaemia (Jam Press/Kimberley Findeis-Sparkes)
Kimberley with both of her sons, Harley and Hugo (Jam Press/Kimberley Findeis-Sparkes)“I put my hand on my chest and rubbed it to try and soothe the burning sensation and that is the moment I felt the lump. Had I not lost the weight and been so stressed I don't think I would have discovered it when I did."
Terrified, Kimberley immediately contacted her doctor who arranged for specialist tests. She said: "I started planning out letters in my head that I would write to my sons so they had a letter to open on their birthday from me for every year if I couldn't be by their side.
Kimberley at her graduation ceremony (Jam Press/Kimberley Findeis-Sparkes)
Kimberley as a young child (Jam Press/Kimberley Findeis-Sparkes)"I even thought about letters I would write to their future partners so I could thank them for loving my sons. Shock and disbelief was my initial reaction – I couldn’t comprehend how we could both have cancer at the same time, and I struggled to wrap my head around it.
“After the shock came anger. It felt so cruel to put a family already going through something so hard through it again. When I was diagnosed, we were waiting for my mum’s stem cell transplant and we all felt happy that, after months of her undergoing chemotherapy and seeing her suffer, we were nearing the last treatment stages – only to be taken right back to the start with mine.
“It was like cancer was prolonging everyone’s stress and pain. Mum struggled with the news and my mum and I have hardly talked about my cancer – she has needed to focus on her recovery, so I have found comfort in other family members like my dad, not wanting to add stress to my mum. No mother should have to witness their child go through cancer treatment, no matter the age – and especially when going through it herself.”
Kimberley is 'determined' to raised awareness of breast cancer (Jam Press/Kimberley Findeis-Sparkes)
The 35-year-old said her cancer diagnosis has taught her not to take life for granted (Jam Press/Kimberley Findeis-Sparkes)Doctors soon confirmed the cancer diagnosis and booked Kimberly in to undergo six rounds of chemotherapy. She is currently waiting for genetic testing to find out whether the best course of action is a single or double mastectomy.
Kimberly said: "Chemotherapy has been difficult and I seemed to have been unlucky and had pretty much every side effect you could think of. I was also unlucky as my hair fell out unusually quickly. Treatment has been the most difficult time of my life.
“I have tried to remain as positive on the outside in front of other people as much as I can, but on my own – emotionally – I haven’t handled it well. I think one of the hardest things has been not having anyone to share the emotional burden placed on my children with.
“I’ve had to have difficult conversations with my boys on my own, preparing them for my hair loss and my bad days with chemo symptoms.” Kimberley is undergoing treatment while being a full-time carer for her mum.
She is determined to use her diagnosis to raise awareness for breast cancer, particularly in younger women. She said: “At only 35, I wouldn't have dreamt that I would be diagnosed with it.
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"Don't be scared to go to your GP and push for a referral. I am fortunate that I have a wonderful and supportive GP, but I know not everyone may receive the same level of care.”
Kimberley is determined to make the most of every day, even learning to drive in three weeks during chemotherapy so she could enjoy life more with her boys. She added: “Doctors are hopeful that once all treatment is completed, I will be cured.
“We are awaiting the results of my genetic testing, so if this comes back positive, we are very aware that I am at risk for developing other cancers – so who knows what the future will look like. I just have to remain positive and make the most of life, and enjoy watching my boys grow up into the wonderful men I know they’re going to be.
"I think my biggest take from all of this is not to take life for granted. Cherish your kids and the people you love with everything you have because nothing in life is guaranteed and your health can change in an instant. I am most looking forward to the day I can sit down with my mum, my boys, and my family, and celebrate the fact that my mum and I are both cancer survivors in remission."
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