'Forgive me for not swallowing Beckham's exclusive access marketing guff'

05 October 2023 , 21:06

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'Forgive me for not swallowing Beckham's exclusive access marketing guff'

Early doors at Netflix ’s new Brand Beckham advert/intimate sports profile, Beckham, Gary Neville chooses a rather unfortunate analogy while assessing the cultural impact of Posh & Becks in the late 90s: "They were the new Charles and Diana."

Luckily, the Beckhams’ union appears to have turned out better than that other fairytale wedding. Neville had a point though. The Beckhams were massive news back in the day.

As a young showbiz newshound, I followed them at the height of the mania and it truly was a crazy time. Even back then the iron fist – sorry, guiding hand – of brand management and PR was painfully apparent. So perhaps you will forgive me for not swallowing the “unfettered, unfiltered exclusive access” marketing guff that accompanied the arrival of this four-part televisual opus.

(AFP via Getty Images)

I would be amazed if one single shot or anecdote has made the cut here that the Beckhams did not want you to see or hear. That’s not to say that watching it in one sitting isn’t a satisfying way of wasting half a day. The Beckhams’ “working class lad becomes superstar footballer and marries pop princess” fairytale is just as irresistible now as it was back then.

That, coupled with the fact that in America the Beckham clan is maybe only one or two clever marriages away from Kardashian levels of celebrity intrigue, makes them perfect fodder for the Netflix treatment.

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The only problem with that is that Beckham is clearly aimed at a worldwide audience. Which means the best things about it – Roy Keane, Gary Neville and the footie clips – don’t feature as much as I’d have liked.

If they had given me another 10 minutes of Keane ranting about Beckham’s extravagant purchases – “Who the f*** buys a pen?” – I may have been more willing to overlook the sheer amount of brassneck it must have taken for them to pretty much whitewash the name Rebecca Loos out of the story.

I maintain that there isn’t a TV show in the world that could not be improved by the appearance of Roy Keane. A point I will happily keep making until ITV finally gets its big cheque book out and signs him for I’m a Celebrity.

Ian Hyland