Mum branded 'inappropriate' for honest sex chat with son - but others praise her
The birds and the bees talk can be awkward for parents and children alike but it is one that is very much necessary when a child is about to embark on their first sexual encounter and tells their mum or dad about it.
This was the situation a single mum of three boys found herself in with one of her sons who opened up about a girl he was messaging at university. The girl wanted to meet up with him to have sex but he told his mum he was "apprehensive" as it was his first time.
The lad's parents are separated and as far as she was aware, neither had had 'the chat' with him. The delicate conversation took place in the living room of the father's house when she had gone to pick 19-year old 'H' up. The mum was aware that the dad had a Ring camera in the room but wasn't bothered about having the conversation in front of it and "didn't feel self conscious about discussing anything."
Unfortunately she came to regret that. Sharing the difficult situation on Reddit, she explained that her son revealed to her why he was worried about having intercourse for the first time. "He was mostly apprehensive of finishing too soon, being laughed at, doing something wrong," she said.
So she gave him some honest and open advice about it: "My words to my recollection were along the lines of 'everyone gets nervous, be honest and communicate'. I did say this which was perhaps a poor choice of words. 'make sure you wear condoms, do not c*m inside her. Do not put your d**k anywhere near her vagina without wearing a condom."
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The young man was clearly comfortable enough with his mum to be able to continue the conversation and asked her about giving oral sex to the girl, which she went on to explain, although she said she now regrets it and takes full responsibility for it. "I told him to be gentle and create a vacuum with his mouth," she said "I then mimicked it on my hand. In hindsight yes, I do regret doing this."
On the way home, they stopped at a chemist so she could buy him some condoms but the next day her ex - father of the lad - called her "very very upset". He said he had watched the footage from the camera and that she was being inappropriate with 'H'.
"I have been accused of being 'a pervert, a whore, dirty and disgusting'," she said. The mum revealed that they normally do a pretty good job at co-parenting but do disagree on some things at times and she tried to justify the conversation he overheard.
"I tried to defend myself by telling him H was an adult and should be able to have these conversations openly with both of us." The woman's mother added to the issue by telling her daughter the conversation should have been left to her ex to have with 'H'.
Despite the criticism and lack of support from the father and grandmother, readers of Reddit jumped to her defence. “Not the a**hole 100% Just the fact that your son was comfortable having this conversation with you shows what an amazing mother you are, and how you were able to create a communication system where he can always come to you for advice," said one before adding: "Maybe, just maybe, the graphic details were a tiny bit too...explicit, coming from his mother, but that's just me. I'm sure his girlfriend(s) will get him up to speed real soon…"
Another backed up this support: "Exactly the son is a grown adult. It's his life and up to him alone who he feels comfortable asking advice from. The husband is probably just mad that the son went to his mum instead of him concerning these things," they said.
While a third concurred: "I honestly don't get what the issue is, unless the son indicated that he was uncomfortable. I bet there's lots of people out there who wish their partner had been taught details like this."
Another added: "Well, if his dad wanted to talk about these things with his son, he should have done so. Years ago. That should have happened way, way long ago. Now he's 19 and more comfortable asking his mum, and there's nothing wrong with that. You gave him straight and honest answers and guidance. Kid knows he can go to his mom about absolutely anything, and that is great.”
Do you agree? Let us know in the comments below.
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