Joe Lycett's savage open letter to Suella Braverman over gay asylum speech
Joe Lycett has slammed Home Secretary Suella Braverman in a savage open letter.
The comedian took to social media to share his response to claims made by Braverman that being gay or a woman is not enough to quality for asylum. Her comments have been widely condemned, including by Sir Elton John who was "very concerned" by the Conservative politician's recent remarks. Great British Sewing Bee presenter Joe shared his response on X - formerly known as Twitter - in the form of a letter dated Wednesday 4 October.
He said: "Dear Home Secretary, I am contacting you on an urgent matter as I was very interested to read your claim that asylum seekers are attempting to abuse the immigration system by pretending to be gays (sometimes known as batty boys). I too am disgusted by men pretending to be gay and think we should weed out this scourge from our society. I know for example that Alan Carr is actually married to a foul woman called Sandra, and that Rylan does triathlons.
Comedian Joe Lycett posted his tongue-in-cheek letter on social media (Alan Chapman/Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Suella Braverman has been slammed for her comments on asylum seekers (James Veysey/REX/Shutterstock)"Like you, I believe in bold and radical change, and also that sometimes you just have to stamp on a dog. I have devised a plan that will eradicate all those fake sausage-noshers and massively reduce successful asylum applicants. All immigrants will be excluded from the United Kingdom UNLESS they can prove that they are gay (to me). With my newly registered company Homo Hunters, I will spearhead this project to reduce the bumbardment of immigrants and enmesh our island with foreign homosexuals.
"This project is both a business and personal venture for me. I know full well that aside from unimportant contracts like PPE procurement and making classroom roof beams out of mint chocolate Aeros the government expects the companies they work with to have long term, actual experience in their field. I have been investigating fake gays for years, in real life but mainly on instagram. A Moss Bros suit doesn't get past me. Nor does an erect c**k!
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"The full ass-essement criteria I will use is trademarked but I am happy to disclose one tactic in this letter. Applicants will be escorted into a room with three tables. On the first table is a Lady Gaga CD, on the second table is a fleece from M&S Blue Harbour and on the third table is a naked twink called Carlos (or Steve). If the applicant tries to have sex with any of these things, they will be determined gay and warmly welcomed into the country. If they attempt to wear the M&S Blue Harbour fleece, mention crypto, VPNs or MMA, they will be inhumanely destroyed [sad face emoji].
"I am in awe of you, your work and your gall. Naysayers might froth that as the child of immigrants it seems strange that you would want to clamp down so ferociously on immigration, but I disagree with those woke likely-nonces: just because you or your family have benefited from a system doesn't mean that system should not be smashed to bits. For example I am vehemently against people pretending to be gay simply to achieve a better life, despite that being exactly what I did to progress in showbusiness.
"I look forward to hearing from you GURRRRRL. Padam padam, Joe Lycett." The comedian's letter comes after Braverman said that "any attempt to reform the refugee convention [of 1951] will see you smeared as anti-refugee" or being "branded a racist or illiberal". The controversial MP went on to claim that the West was facing "an existential challenge" over refugees, before insisting that it was not sustainable for the UK to offer protection to those fearful of discrimination "simply for being gay, or a woman."
Sir Elton, his husband David and his non-profit Elton John AIDS Foundation responded with a statement, in which they said they were "very concerned" by the Conservative politician's recent remarks. They also warned that "dismissing the very real danger LGBTQ+ communities face" could lead to "further legitimising hate and violence against them."
The statement read: "We are very concerned about the UK Home Secretary's comments stating how discrimination for being gay or a woman should not be reason enough to qualify for protection under international refugee laws. Nearly a third of all nations class LGBTQ+ people as criminals and homosexuality is still punishable by death in 11 countries," the statement added. "Dismissing the very real danger LGBTQ+ communities face risks further legitimising hate and violence against them. Leaders need to provide more compassion, support and acceptance for those seeking a safer future."
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