'I drank so much I only have a few months to live - here's what I regret most'
A Welsh man who “drank too much” and is now terminally ill with liver failure has opened up on his struggles and regrets - and given a strong warning to others.
Project manager Gavin Maidment was diagnosed with terminal liver failure and told he has six to nine months to live. The 56-year-old dad said he “didn’t expect to be told it [his life] would soon be over” when he first went to the hospital in November. “But I’ve realised I lived an unhealthy lifestyle for too long and that’s the basis of my position,” he explained.
The Newport resident opened up on his regrets, particularly surrounding alcohol. “I wish I'd stopped the alcohol,” he said. “I drank too much. There’s no pretty way of saying that. It’s an ugly thing. I have terminal liver failure which began to deteriorate significantly two years ago, and I then stopped drinking completely.
Gavin keeps in good spirits - but says relying on others for help can become "tiresome" (Ollie Barnes)“I can see abstinence is actually easy for me. But it was too late for me. The alcohol that I drank for so many years will kill my liver soon, and that will put too much pressure on my other organs,” he continued.
In November, Gavin went to a specialist clinic at Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham in the hope of a liver transplant - but was told he was too unwell for a successful transplant, and had a prognosis of under a year. He told WalesOnline of one of the most difficult days in his life: “You always think there is hope, and I always have. There was always hope and then suddenly, out of nowhere, there wasn’t.”
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But Gavin explains the six days where he had to stay in hospital after receiving the prognosis were a “benefit”, as it gave him the time to thoroughly reflect on his life and situation. “One of the benefits - some would say a drawback perhaps - was being in that hospital for five or six days, I had a lot of time to reflect,” he explained. “I was in Birmingham, so few people were visiting me, and so I lay there on my own contemplating my life - asking myself questions. I’ve come home with the answer.
“I think you’d have to be a pretty odd person not to begin a process of reflection after being told you’re dying. Naturally you think about how you’ve lived your life, the relationships you’ve had, the experiences you’ve had, and the decisions you’ve made.”
Gavin didn't expect to be told his life would soon be over last November (Ollie Barnes)Gavin has now dedicated his life to ensuring 14-year-old daughter Darcy won’t have anything to worry about when he’s gone, saying “I’m a project manager by trade, and I wanted to apply that to this scenario.” Gavin has been getting his life in order to try and give whoever sorts his will a “deliverable rather than stark challenge”.
All that is left for him to do now is reflect on his life and do what he can to help others. He’s donated £5,000 to Newport-based palliative care charity St David’s Hospice which has provided him with “outstanding” support and which he calls an “unbelievably excellent charity”, and he wants to share the story of what happened to him in the hope someone can change their lifestyle before it’s too late, as it is for him.
He attributes living beyond his prognosis to the staff at St David’s, which he said he’d never heard of before his condition became terminal. “I thought I’d be gone by Easter, but here I am. It gets a little tiresome. To not be independent anymore and to have to rely on people does get tiresome and has been the single most difficult thing to deal with, but the staff at the hospice have been unbelievably excellent.
“I didn’t know of St David’s before I went there, but I’ve been blown away. It’s not that they provide a service, they provide an exceptional service at a time where in many circumstances the NHS is not able to.
“They certainly can’t have very happy jobs all of the time, but they’re exceptional people. I donated the money because I wanted to give something back to them for all they’ve done for me. I feel like they’ve made me a priority. If I have a problem with meds it’ll be sorted the next day and I have that confidence in them. Having that confidence at a time when I don’t know how I’ll be tomorrow or next week has been priceless.”
What was the answer he found after reflecting for so long on his life while in hospital? “I think I’ve been a good person. Things could have gone better. But I’ll go to my grave with a clear conscience.”
David hopes a charity fundraising male voice choir can be created in his memory. He has asked for donations to be made to the hospice rather than flowers. St David’s chief executive Emma Saysell said: “We are so very grateful to Gav for his tremendously generous donation. We wish him all the very best and are pleased that we are able to support him and his family.”
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