Mum says newborn's death after 'textbook' pregnancy helped her to get dream job

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Helen and Chris Kowalkowski and their daughter Ruby who died following a brain injury (Image: Helen Kowalkowski)
Helen and Chris Kowalkowski and their daughter Ruby who died following a brain injury (Image: Helen Kowalkowski)

One mum has said her newborn daughter’s death after a “textbook” pregnancy ended up helping her get her dream job.

Helen and Chris Kowalkowski had their beloved baby daughter Ruby on June 4, 2019.

But due to complications during the pregnancy they tragically lost her shortly after giving birth.

Mum Helen said the young baby helped her land her dream job after they fundraised £21,000 in the wake of the Ruby's death.

The “textbook” pregnancy and “lovely” labour at the Royal Surrey County Hospital led the parents to believe all was good before doctors suddenly rushed Ruby off before they got a chance to hold her.

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Helen and Chris had to wait three hours before they could see their baby, only to receive heartbreaking news.

Mum says newborn's death after 'textbook' pregnancy helped her to get dream jobHelen and Chris raised £21,000 after he and two pals cycled from London to Paris following little Ruby's death (Helen Kowalkowski)

Ruby had suffered from hypoxic-ischaemic encephalopathy (HIE) at the most “severe” level and it was life-threatening - caused by the fact she didn’t receive enough oxygen in the womb.

The baby was rushed to St Peter’s Hospital NICU where the parents were tragically informed Ruby wouldn’t survive the brain injury.

The first-time parents had to make the impossible decision to turn off their daughter’s life support, but made the most of their short time with her.

At the Little Roo Neonatal Unit, Helen and Chris spent a short time with Ruby before saying goodbye.

Speaking to SurreyLive, Helen said: “We call the nurses our extended family. They took so many photos of us with Ruby at the moment we didn’t know they were.”

The nurses also organised for a professional photographer to come in to take pictures of Ruby sot he parents had cherished memories of her.

Helen added: “They look after lots of sick babies, they made us feel like the only people in the world. We got to do all the normal things any mummy and daddy should be able to do. We bathed Ruby, changed her nappy, dressed her, read her stories and sang to her.

“We stayed together as a family for a further three days in the Daffodil Bereavement Room. This time was so precious, as we continued to care for Ruby, cuddle her and make more memories with the help of Ruby’s daily dedicated nurse.

“We cannot thank everyone involved in Ruby’s care enough, without them, we would have been unable to spend such special moments together as a family and create so many treasured memories.”

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They held a baptism for Ruby at the hospital too with nurses attending, which Helen said felt like a “celebration” of her life.

But the mum said the most difficult part was coming home from the hospital empty-handed, expecting to be kept up at night, but their house being silent.

From there, Helen and Chris discussed setting out to fundraise. She said: “We set out talking about how we could fundraise, which kept us busy because we had come home without our baby.”

They aimed to raise £5,000 through Chris cycling from London to Paris with two friends of his, Richard and Ben. But in August last year when they completed the mammoth trip they smashed their record and raised £21,000.

Money from the fundraiser went to buying medical equipment for Little Roo, including a cooling mat which can be life-saving for children born with HIE, like Ruby.

Helen also organised fundraising quiz nights, which even led to her landing a new job that she loves as a fundraising and events coordinator. Helen said: “I say my daughter helped me get this job after the venue offered me a position due to all the fundraising events I was organising in memory of Ruby.”

Five months after having Ruby, Helen and Chris were pleased to find out they were expecting their second baby, a little boy called Harry.

Helen said: “Harry knows exactly who Ruby is, and she is a massive part of our life.” After having Harry, the photographer who took the photos of Ruby came back to take photos of Harry after he was born.

Lauren Cole-Lomas

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