22 February 2023 , 16:11
1134
0
When it comes to dating, hopeful romantics will go above and beyond to try to impress their love interest - but sometimes they can go a little too far. That's exactly what one man claims happened to him after he returned home from the gym to find a handwritten letter stuck to his door from a man he went on a date with.
He said: "I went on one date with this dude in my building, we've exchanged a few texts with four days max in between. I came home from the gym and this is on my door... call 911." After sharing the letter on Twitter, he sparked a debate with some users believing he was in the wrong for not texting back in the first place, while others agreed it was "too much after just one date.
He enjoyed their date - but didn't follow it up with a text (stock photo) (Getty Images)
The letter reads: "I wanted to drop a note instead of shooting you a text again. What's the deal? If you're not ghosting me then what are you doing?
"You haven't responded to the test or voice memo I sent so I'm a bit confused. On one end, you're telling me that you had good time and definitely want to hang again but then you're also not responding or making an effort to.
Top 20 excuses Brits use to cancel a date - from sickness to work emergency
"It doesn't seem like you're interested in anything (platonic or romantic) which I can be OK with but I do believe I'm owed the courtesy of you letting me know that if that is the case.
"If this is your version of 'honest communication', I don't think we are aligned. I'm hating the mixed signals - It's giving me anxiety and confusing me. I'd like to get aligned - I hope to hear back from you."
Before ending his letter, the man once again gave him his number "in case he doesn't have it anymore", and suggested meeting up for a "cup of tea and some puppy therapy".
He responded to the letter with a text message (Getty Images/Tetra images RF)After receiving the letter, and posting it online, the man replied to his date via text message, explaining how he doesn't have the "capacity" to communicate at his preferred level.
The man responded: "I got your note. I'm sorry I made you anxious and confused. I was being honest about having a good time on the date and wanting a second one... but I think based on your messages and notes, you expect more communication and reassurance than I have the capacity for.
"I feel overwhelmed, therefore, I'm going to renege my suggestion for a second date or anything further. Apologies. I wish you well.
"Someone out there can meet your expectations of communication but I don't have that to offer you currently. Despite enjoying our date, we've known each other for barely one day and this is... a lot. Maybe on a different timeline. Good night."
While some users believe it was reasonable for his date to expect some sort of communication from him following their date, others claim the letter is "manipulative".
One user said: "The letter seems genuine, although you both clearly have different communication styles and needs. That isn't a good enough reason to drag it onto the internet and complain about him - this feels unkind."
Another user added: "The letter writer sounds incredibly manipulative, like he's trying his best to persuade you and overcome objections.
Mum slammed for cancelling son's birthday party after 'sexist' joke to friends
"A relationship with that person is one where they always try to make you feel like you owe them something and their perspective is the only one that matters."
A third user said: "I feel bad for the guy. I don’t think he’d write the note if he wasn’t feeling ignored. Not saying the note may have been overkill but I also thing he was trying to be genuine.
" If you went up to four days without speaking then you were clearly not interested to begin with."
One more user added: "If I enjoyed the date enough to already plan a second date and I’ve explained that for whatever reasons I may not communicate or text that often but it's OK since we’ll see each other on this second date anyway you better not be leaving essays on my door - I'm sorry."