06 January 2024 , 09:00
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For this bride-to-be, the truth hurt more than getting a tattoo ever could.
A tattoo is a big commitment, because it will remain on your body for a lifetime unless you decide to go through the process to remove it gradually with lasers, which can be expensive.
Getting a tattoo that relates to another person you are in a relationship or friendship with is even riskier, because if the dynamic with your loved one breaks down, you are left with a pretty permanent reminder of them on your body itself.
For one woman, this nightmare became a reality when she realised the truth about what she had thought was a seemingly harmless tattoo on her fiancé's wrist. She posted on Reddit looking for advice on how to handle her dilemma.
She explained that before they embarked on a romantic relationship, she and her fiancé had been friends for a long time, and she knew his previous ex-girlfriend. "Things seemed to be getting serious he spoke about getting engaged to her but she kept saying no," the unnamed woman explained.
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The woman added that he even tried to propose to his ex-girlfriend, but she kept "laughing it off as if he had made a joke." Eventually, the relationship with his ex broke down when he discovered that she had been cheating on him, and a year later he and the woman posting took their friendship to the next level.
She had seen that he had a tattoo on his wrist, and "found it a bit odd but was still fine with it" because she knew he and his ex had gone to both get tattoos at the same time, but she realised recently she didn't know the full story behind them.
"I found chats between my fiance and his ex-girlfriend, 6 months after we got engaged. He spoke about each time he looked at it, it reminded him of her and the physical scar she left on him.
"He asked if she removed hers and that's when I found out that she has the same tattoo. They then spoke about the fact that they will always be part of each other's lives in a way," linked by the tattoos.
The woman was upset by the discovery that the tattoo was actually a matching one, and by the contents of the conversation, "I have asked him to get the tattoo removed or to cover it with another," she wrote.
"It makes me uncomfortable knowing that he has the tattoo and makes me feel like I am sharing him with another woman daily. We have been in multiple fights because of this. To me, it seems like he doesn't take my feelings into consideration."
She noted that she was even looking for ways to "stall our wedding plans as I cannot get married to a man that has a tattoo that reminds him of another woman."
Most commenters were quick to support the woman and insist that she had the right to be upset, but many of them noted that the real problem wasn't the tattoo itself, but the text message conversation with his ex.
"I get being bothered by the tattoo," wrote one, "But I don't get why you're not more bothered by the texting itself. I mean it's a tattoo he got with his ex, of course, it reminds him of her. But most people would look at getting reminded of a cheating ex as a bad thing. His texts with this ex make it sound like he is remembering her/their relationship fondly and it does not sound like he is over her."
Another agreed, writing: "I think your problem is that your fiancé isn't over his ex, not the tattoo." However, some felt the demand to remove the tattoo wasn't acceptable: "How would you feel if he started demanding you do things to your body over something you are perfectly fine with? Gtfo with that BS. People's bodies aren't yours to control."
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