23 December 2023 , 23:06
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A publisher was forced to pull an obituary from a daughter to her mother after she described the woman as a "violent, hateful and abusive" person.
Gayle Harvey Heckman penned the post-death words about her mother Linda but any record of the 'tribute' is now gone, with links to it finding an error code.
The aggrieved Michigan daughter wrote: "Well, honestly I wanted to write it for myself because I wanted to clear my name. For 24 years and before that, my mother has had to come up with a reason as to why her daughter isn't in her life that doesn't make her look like a monster. I had to reclaim my name."
Gayle wrote the obituary her mother, whose full name is Linda Lernal Harvey Cullum Smith Stull and revealed she was disappointed to hear it was taken offline and assumed the local publisher, Wilcox Newspaper, would have got in touch with her if they had a problem.
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Gayle wrote the obituary her mother, whose full name is Linda Lernal Harvey Cullum Smith StullBoss Mike Wilcox explained: "Obit was run in TR (Three Rivers) print edition on Dec. 15. It was submitted through our website, and was published without a good look on our part. We took it down from the website after complaints about its content poured in. After taking it down, several complaints and phone calls were received admonishing us for doing so."
The lengthy obituary announcing the woman's December 12 death in Three Rivers includes a list of alleged wrongdoings, including condoning sexual assault against her daughter and lies about who Gayle's biological father was.
It read: "As a mother, Lernal was violent, hateful, and cruel. She physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally, and financially abused Gayle."
"Lernal accused Gayle of 'trying to steal her husband' and proceeded to beat her senselessly. Gayle and her family forgive Lernal and hope that she has found peace. They also hope to find peace within themselves. Lernal will not be missed by Gayle or her family. They all understand the world is a much better place without her."
Heckman revealed she wrote the scathing obit as a cathartic exercise for her and a way of venting her annoyance and upset at her mother.
She told the Sturgis Journal: "I wasn't trying to be hateful, I genuinely ... don't have any hate. I am angry. I don't understand if we don't talk about this how are we supposed to break the cycle of trauma, especially generational trauma."
Heckman revealed that ever since she wrote the obituary she has people reach out to her and tell their own stories of abuse, something she is proud to share. She hopes it will continue to help survivors speak their truths and stop being silent.
"I'm 54 years old and the internet, piece by piece, people were leaving love," she said. "And I could feel my heart ... the hole in my heart starting to fill."