09 October 2023 , 14:46
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A woman has barred her stepsister from being given a family heirloom engagement ring - and people support her decision. The 20-year-old explained that when her dad proposed to her mum, her paternal grandparents gave him a ring from their family to propose with.
She said her grandparents adored her mum and saw her as a daughter, so wanted to welcome her to the family with the ring. The woman's mother treasured the piece of jewellery and before she died they had discussed the grandparents keeping it safe so her daughter could eventually wear it. However, trouble started brewing after the woman's mum died and her dad remarried.
According to the woman, who wrote a post about the situation on Reddit, his second wife was upset that she wasn't offered the ring like her mum was. She said: "My grandparents explained it was being kept safe for me, as the last owner had wanted her only child (aka me) to have it. My dad's wife came into the marriage with a daughter just like dad had me. I was nine and she was seven. We're now 22 (me) and 20 (her).
"My stepsister got engaged a few weeks ago. Her boyfriend proposed without a ring because he wanted her to pick one out. She decided to ask dad if she could have the family engagement ring. He asked my grandparents and they said no. His wife told my grandparents it might not be me but the ring would still be going to their granddaughter. They said not the granddaughter it was intended for and my stepsister was not my mum's daughter therefore she would not be entitled to it and my mum would have hated to see it go to my stepsister."
When speaking to the grandparents failed, the 20-year-old woman's dad and his wife came to speak to her instead. According to her, her stepsister was upset that her grandparents didn't overrule what her mum wanted as she has abandonment issues.
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"Her dad abandoned her, neither side of her biological family want her and my grandparents and uncles are the only extended family she ever had but she always felt like they favoured me because of how much they loved my mum and how often they spoke about her and about us (me and mum). Them turning her down really got her down," she shared.
"So my dad and his wife wanted me to make it up to her and wanted me to take the ring and then give it to her. My dad said it would mean so much to my stepsister and while it would mean I don't get that ring, I could still get another ring and it would make a family member happy. His wife said they had both lived in my mum's shadow from day one and this could be a time where they are not treated as secondary to my mum.
"She said her daughter always adored me and never saw me as a stepsister and it hurt her that I never saw her as a sister. She said I could do this and make her feel loved like she deserves. I refused to give my stepsister the ring and my dad and his wife told me I was being selfish and hurtful."
While her dad and stepmum might not support her decision, people online do. "Your mum wanted that ring to go to you, not the daughter of the random woman that your dad married after your mum passed," one person commented on the thread.
"What a conniving pair. They went behind your grandparent's backs and tried to emotionally force you to give up what is rightfully yours? Think of how sad your grandparents would be. Stay firm. You don't owe anyone anything," said another. A third added: "Tell your stepmother to take off her ring, and give that one to your stepsister. Then, she will have a 'family ring'."
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