01 August 2023 , 08:31
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Ashley James has revealed she was denied pain relief during her son's "uncontrolled birth". The Made In Chelsea star, 36, has opened up on her labour in an effort to get other mums to share their postpartum recovery.
The mum-of-two welcomed her first baby Alfie in January 2021 and daughter Ada Isabelle Blue by C-section in March of this year. Ashley has become known for her honesty surrounding motherhood, having recently caused a stir when she confessed it was "quite boring".
She has opened up on how her two labours differed, saying her vaginal birth was a "really traumatic experience". Ashley gave birth to Alfie when the pandemic was still in full swing, so had to be alone in her hospital room for most of the time. The Made In Chelsea star candidly explained: "Alf was a really big baby and I was denied any pain relief.
She was denied pain relief during her first birth (Instagram)
Ashley James shared her traumatic experience (Instagram)"I had a lot of anxiety too because it was during lockdown and partners weren’t allowed in the room until you were in active labour, so I had a huge fear of doing most of it on my own," she told OK!. Ashley shared how she was also stitched up incorrectly, which made her recovery longer.
The model and DJ may still need corrective surgery, but now has to wait until daughter Ada is six months old to decide. Despite her difficulties with her first birth, Ashley said her elective C-section for her second child was "amazing". She added: "The birth was very controlled, unlike Alf’s uncontrolled birth." Ashley shares her two children with boyfriend Tommy Andrews.
Baby boy has spent his life in hospital as doctors are 'scared' to discharge him
Following Alfie's arrival, the new mum shared how she felt like a "prisoner" and feared she would not get her life before kids back. Speaking to The Mirror after her first date night with Tom since they became parents, she said: "Tom’s parents came to babysit and his dad drove us so we literally felt like teenagers. It was really nice, though.
"There was a stage not that long ago where I felt like I was never going to get those things back, especially with breastfeeding. I felt so resentful and as much as I love Alf, there were times I felt trapped and like a prisoner. I was like, 'Am I ever going to be able to leave him again?' And then you feel guilty about saying it, but here I am a few months later and now I get a lot more time to myself and you realise it’s possible."
Just last month, Ashley was hit with cruel mum-shaming comments after she shared a video of herself juggling work as a new mum-of-two. In a candid video posted to her Instagram page, Ashley was seen juggling nursing her three-month-old baby girl while getting glammed up for a DJ event.
Ashley is later seen with her partner Tom Andrews and daughter Ada outside the venue, as she explains the tot 'wasn't allowed inside'. She posted a lengthy caption alongside the clip where she said: "A realistic day in the life being a DJ with a baby. I wanted to make this video as an insight into the juggle. I mean, I know work looks very different for everyone, but no matter what any of my working mum friends do - from corporate to creative to part time to full time - every single one struggles with the juggle. And I feel like people have no idea about the everyday negotiating and logistics in households.
"Saying that, I still think the true heroes are the stay at home mums (and single mums). I think most working parents would say that going to work (without your child) feels like a holiday. Getting to commute without having to entertain a baby or toddler on the way? Pure bliss.
"I can't believe I thought mums 'didn't work'. I think that's the biggest con in this patriarchal world. I feel like if it was more common for men to do all this unpaid labour they'd give out medals and knighthoods." She went on to add: "I also feel like there's an overall lack of empathy or understanding when we talk about this juggle. ("Well don't have kids if you don't want to look after them" "don't be negative" - we hear people say to dismiss the struggles etc).
"I've noticed to that we're praised for 'doing it all'. When actually, we should celebrate those who don't do it all. Because what's more important than raising the next generation?" However, some followers quizzed Ashley on where Alfie was as one troll asked: "Where on earth was Alf all day and night the poor boy? I admire your juggling but you haven’t mentioned or shown him once? Have I missed something?"
Another wrote: "Also I feel like this venue should’ve been more accommodating for you. I think it’s shocking they wouldn’t let Ada in. Id rather refuse to DJ than make my baby wait in the street at night bless them xx".