22 July 2023 , 16:31
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South Asian women aren’t allowed to fail – we’re never seen as messy and flawed and multi-dimensional. We’re seen as binary – clever, passive and straight.
Oh, how we’ve fooled the world.
This is one of the reasons why I have been so terrified about putting my first novel into the world this week.
I have spent the last two months riddled with anxiety about it, because it could fail and I don’t know how it will be received.
It’s called Baby Does a Runner and the main character, Baby Saul, is from Bradford, funnily enough, and she is fed up with just about everything – her job, her colleagues, her non-existent love life – and she’s grieving her beloved father.
Baby boy has spent his life in hospital as doctors are 'scared' to discharge him
After discovering a family secret, she heads to India to find out more.
Baby Does A Runner came out this week
Anita was warded an honorary Doctor of Laws at the University of Leeds (https://www.instagram.com/itsanitarani/?hl=en)Oh, and there is a love story. Does she bag the hottie? No spoilers here.
Writing Baby Does a Runner has been a very different experience to memoir writing – I released my memoir, The Right Sort of Girl, back in July 2021.
It feels strange that I am more anxious about this because I revealed so much more about myself in the memoir. And in some ways, I think you never want the nerves to go away. After 20 years of presenting, I still get nervous. Nerves mean you care. It’s so personal and it’s going public. Terrifying!
Unlike with my memoir, obviously, Baby isn’t me. But I think only I could have told this story.
I think it’s important to have a protagonist women can relate to, because I never had a protagonist I could relate to when I was growing up. There’s space for a Baby in fiction. I felt there were no South Asian Punjabi Yorkshire women in literature, especially not ones like Baby, who drink too much and are single in their mid-30s.
So, despite stressing about the prospect of it failing, I have finally ditched my anxiety about the book.
I think in the end it’s more important for me to portray a real, human and flawed Asian woman like me than to worry about failing a stereotype I’ve lived with all my life.
I interviewed an amazing author called Gabrielle Zevin, who wrote Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, for BBC Woman’s Hour and she told me: “Just put it to one side, you’ve done it. You’re not even the same person who wrote the book.”
And I thought: "That is such a profound statement."
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I absolutely love writing and the creative process.
It’s so nice to do something like this where it’s just me, early in the morning, with my laptop and my own ideas. It’s very satisfying.
I always wanted to write when I was younger and how wonderful I have been given the opportunity to do it.