13 April 2023 , 17:09
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Dear Coleen
A couple of weeks ago, my fiance and I went on a weekend break with another couple. My fiance has known the guy for years – he was best man at their wedding five years ago – and knows his wife quite well, too.
I was really excited about the weekend, not just because it was nice to get away with my partner, but so I could get to know his friends better.
I thought it would be fun, but it was awful.
My fiance flirted non-stop with his friend’s wife right under both of our noses, although her husband didn’t seem to notice.
The pair of them acted like a couple of teenagers, bantering and teasing each other.
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It created a really weird atmosphere. I even noticed my fiance fiddling with his hair and sucking in his gut whenever this woman walked into the room. I waited until we got home to say something, but he just said I was acting crazy and reading things into the situation.
He’s really annoyed with me and says I spoiled what was a really nice weekend.
But from where I was standing, it seemed obvious they were flirting and I didn’t like it.
What can I do?
As things stand, this guy is going to be our best man when we get married next year.
Coleen says
OK, be really honest with yourself – could you be overreacting? Are you feeling insecure and, if so, why?
Maybe your partner just really likes her, they get on well and have always had a bit of a silly relationship.
Perhaps he’s flattered that she likes him and pays him attention. What did you actually see?
If his friend didn’t react to it, then maybe it is more to do with how you’re feeling about yourself and your relationship.
The facts are, you’re planning a wedding, he obviously wants you as his life partner and has chosen his mate to be his best man.
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I think the problem is, now you have these doubts, you might just drive yourself mad obsessing over them and you might wreck your relationship.
Have a conversation and try to explain calmly how it was for you in that situation, especially as you’ve never seen that side of him before and that it left you feeling insecure.
Hopefully, he will reassure you and you can move on from that weekend and focus on planning the wedding.