15 March 2024 , 15:52
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If you're single and looking for love there might be a red flag you're carrying that could be putting people off, according to one dating guru.
There could be a reason for being "undateable" according to US-based therapist Janet Martinez, who goes by the name of the Cursing Councillor online.
She took to TikTok to reveal the red flag daters may carry when looking for a potential partner and claimed people "won't like" what she's got to say.
Janet warned people looking for a partner need to make sure they're "fully healed" before going into a new relationship. Not holding back in her stern words, she explained: "If you are still looking at your phone and checking your messages and checking your emails every few minutes to see if they've reached out, you are not healed, you are not dateable.
"You are not dating material, you should not be in the dating world. You haven't done enough work on yourself yet. You're accepting the crumbs off of somebody else's table."
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The brutal revelation came as the expert shared the main "giveaway" she will notice in people is anxiety. She added: "It is the constant checking. It is always wondering. They're always in your head and you tell yourself, 'I'm gonna go no contact,' and you block them for like a day and then you unblock them just to see if they reached out.
"I see you. You know what I'm talking about. Again, my love, you're just not healed. You're not healed, you're not. When you go out into the world in this state, you are not going to find the peace and happiness that you admire in others. You will never find it for yourself. What separates those confident people from you is the fact that those people went out and built their own tables."
Janet continued: "They chose materials. They constructed their table in a way that made them happy and then they invite people to sit with them - or not because sometimes they don't even want somebody sitting with them. They just sit alone and they're fine. They're not waiting for the crumbs off of somebody else's table," and in the honest analysis, she assured: "Again, I know this is hard. I know this is tough love but I'm here for you."
It seemed as if people agreed with her statement, as one TikToker commented: "This! And you won't recognise it until ur healed," while another admitted: "Ouch. I feel exposed."