12 March 2024 , 15:50
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When it comes to naming a baby, most parents spend hours mulling over their options before deciding on a moniker. They may turn to their close friends and family for guidance - but usually, they're the ones to have the final say on their baby's name.
However, one mum-to-be has shared how her sister-in-law claims it's her right to name her baby as this is the norm in their culture. Taking to Reddit, the 28-year-old said: "I am five months pregnant with my first baby with my husband, 31. Both sides of the family are really happy with the news since it's the first grandbaby of the family. Things have been rough on me, with sickness, body aches and emotions being in high gear lately.
"Yesterday, my sister-in-law, 25, came over with my mother-in-law, 50, to give us some gifts. They're family heirlooms for the baby, that were at my husband's grandmother's home. We were all talking and having a good laugh when the topic of naming the baby came up, and my sister-in-law beamed up and said 'She can't wait to name that cutie pie'.
"This kinda took me aback. I do know that in my husband's culture, it's the paternal aunt who names the child, but I just find it kind of odd. I'll agree that the perfect names can come out of nowhere, even my name was given to me by my late great-grandmother but the final call was my parents'." Keeping an open mind about her sister-in-law naming her child, she asked whether she had any names in mind - and her sister-in-law started sharing her options.
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Mum gives her baby the 'most outrageous' name - and is shocked it's approved
She added: "I asked my sister-in-law if she had thought of any names, and well the names she said, are not something I want for my baby for personal reasons. I told my sister-in-law 'I don't like the names', to which my mother-in-law kinda gave me a stink eye and said, 'Those are really beautiful names, hubby and you should think about them, considering this name will stay with your baby forever' ( even more the reason why I don't want the names ).
"My sister-in-law got a bit defensive and told me that she researched it from the internet and they were the prettiest names she found, to which I said "They're pretty but not something that'd go well with the last name ( we're hyphenating the baby's name with my maiden name and hubby's last name ). I think at this point a passive-aggressive argument started, for about 15 minutes until hubby came back.
"Hubby and I talked after they left and he agreed that we should be the ones to decide the baby's name, but my reaction to the suggestion and the argument was just a bit harsh." Wanting to know whether she is in the wrong, she has taken to social media to ask users for their thoughts. In response, one user said: "You and your significant other are the only ones who have a say on the final name."
Another user added: "I get the cultural thing. Even in my culture sometimes this practice exists. There’s a ritual where the sister-in-law tells the priest what the name will be. But it’s very obvious to everyone involved that the sister-in-law's role is more token than actual.
"The parents decide the name and then the sister-in-law says it out loud during the ritual. So you're not in the wrong. Look you’re the one carrying the child and will care for the child once it’s out. Sister-in-law's love is cool and all. But it’s your baby and therefore your decision. Besides I think naming someone is such an important part of bringing a life into this world, no one and nothing should take that away from you.
"So go ahead and name your kid whatever you’d like. Tell her she can stop searching the internet for the prettiest name because you got this." A third user said: "That can be their culture all they want, but it is your child. Really important that your husband is the one to get out in front of this and put his foot down with them. He needs to defend your right as parents, and make sure this isn’t made to be a you 'vs' his family thing."