01 March 2024 , 07:00
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A woman has told how the ongoing ‘childish’ and ‘passive-aggressive' behaviour from her mother-in-law has caused an ongoing family rift that shows no signs of being repaired any time soon. After admitting that her mother-in-law has never been an ‘involved grandma’ to her and her husband’s three children, aged between 11-15-years-old, she said she had never kept in touch properly via phone calls or gifts, purely asking her son to ‘pass on her love’ whenever she spoke to him.
And while she admitted the children would have loved a grandparent who was interested and involved in their lives, she said their children understood the situation ‘wasn’t their fault.’ However a huge falling out with her son in 2021 during Covid, when he refused to take the children to visit her during one of the lockdowns as her and her husband were ‘anti-vaxers’ had led to a huge falling out that was yet to be repaired.
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She said: “My mother-in-law and her husband were anti-vax, anti-mask, vacationing in a caravan park, posting to Facebook about boat parties, bars, karaoke, bingo, etc." After admitting they kept the reason for not visiting simple, saying it was too risky for their little girl, she said: “My mother-in-law ended up yelling at my husband when he told her, about being selfish, unloving, and mis-informed and ended with: ‘I can’t even talk to you anymore, I’ll call you when I want to talk’ and hung up.”
With the couple believing she was the one who should extend the olive branch to apologise after the falling out, she told how she hadn’t called since, instead preferring to air the family laundry in public on the couple’s Facebook business page.
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She said: “Every few months she comments on our business social media: ‘I tried calling but I don’t have your new number so guess you’ll have to call me!’ or ‘God gave us family and you’re missing it!’ then: ‘Gee I sure would love to be able to call and wish my grandson a happy birthday!’ Our number is on our business website page!” She also revealed that when her husband’s father-in-law passed away, she had asked another family member to let her son know via a Facebook post.
She had also sent a letter to her youngest child, containing a card with a cheque for £30 ($35) and a note saying: “This is our mailing address and phone number. We hope you’ll want to call or write us sometime, Love you so much,” before admitting her daughter had put the card and cheque in the bin.
With the family dilemma going on for so long, she took to Reddit to ask readers if they thought they should be the ones to reconcile. One said: “She seems exhausting. I would definitely just keep it right where it is at with this level of interaction, as in, none from you, and passive-aggression from her.” Another agreed commenting: “She doesn't want a relationship, she wants an audience when she feels like it.”
“I’d block her on there, personally,” said one. “No need for her nonsense to spill over into their professional lives, or influence their clients.” One reader told of a similar story growing up: “I had a set of toxic grandparents growing up and I wish I didn’t have to deal with them as a kid. They didn’t like my mum and made it painfully obvious. Just because someone is blood doesn’t mean they’re family. Your mother-in-law sounds like a narcissist.”