14 February 2024 , 11:10
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Valentine's Day can cause arguments among couples, especially with newly formed romances.
If you haven't discussed Valentine's Day plans with your partner ahead of time, it can be tricky to know what the expect from the big day. Some people hate the idea of setting aside one day in the calendar to show your significant other you care about them, while others will be hurt if you don't at least get them a card.
One woman has explained she was excited for her first Valentine's Day with her boyfriend but was left heartbroken when he sent her a short three-word excuse to say he wouldn't be able to spend the day with her - and then didn't bother to get her flowers or a card to make up for it.
The anonymous woman said she has been with her partner for 10 months, and in the beginning, he was "a poster boy for good boyfriend material". But after failing to plan anything for her birthday, she began to feel disheartened, until Valentine's Day rolled around and he cancelled their plans - simply stating "he'll be busy".
In a post on Reddit, the woman shared: "For the first six months of our relationship this man was like a poster boy for good boyfriend material. He was attentive, always planned cute little dates, and sent me flowers occasionally. I was on top of the world and constantly expressed my gratitude.
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"His birthday four months ago seemed like the perfect time to treat him the way he does me so I planned a big day of celebrations, spending more money than I care to admit. And then my birthday came around shortly after. And he planned nothing. I was disappointed but I reminded myself of all the other times earlier on in our relationship that he's spoiled me.
"Then today was Valentine's Day (I'm in Australia so it's the end of the day on Valentine's Day here). Weeks ago he told me where he'd booked us in for dinner so I assumed the plans were sorted. Then he told me last night he'll be busy so can't see me. That's fine, he has other commitments. I'm sure he'll send flowers, I told myself. He didn't."
Devastated, the woman said she wasn't sure whether she was "being entitled" by thinking her boyfriend should have made more of an effort, and said that she spent all day feeling "really sad" as she had to watch other couples enjoying the day together and saw several men carrying bouquets for their partners.
Commenters on the post were quick to offer their support to the woman, with some claiming her boyfriend's actions were "messed up", and another stating he "doesn't sound very interested" in their relationship. Another commenter suggested the pair find a "compromise" about their expectations for their romance.
They wrote: "It is perfectly reasonable to feel disappointed during special occasions. It is not a matter of entitlement, but rather a need for mutuality. Perhaps his schedule at work is tight; nevertheless, it's worth appreciating the occasion. Think about what you expect and have a chat over drinks with him about celebrations. Compromise with each other until you find what works best overall."