10 February 2024 , 15:11
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The arrival of half-term means many parents will be looking for ways to keep their children entertained, but with a fifth of under-16s experiencing challenges with their mental health, it’s important to help them feel calmer and able to express their emotions too.
In this exclusive extract from Becky Goddard-Hill’s new book How I Feel, the psychotherapist suggests games for primary children to encourage them to talk about their feelings through play and help them create strategies to feel more in control.
After all, the journey to regulating emotions, expressing feelings effectively and practising self-care can’t begin early enough.
The feelings game
This encourages children to talk about lots of different feelings.
Blowing bubbles is a good way to help you practise taking long, slow breaths (Getty Images)1. Write feeling words on little pieces of paper, fold them up and then pop them into a jar. eg “I feel happy when I’m playing in the park”.
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2. One child is then chosen to take a piece of paper out of the jar and asked to read it out loud.
3. Starting with the picker, everyone takes a turn saying what makes them feel like the word on the paper. If someone finds it hard, they can skip their go or ask for help.
4. Then it’s the next person’s turn to choose from the jar. Keep going until everyone has picked a piece of paper. With practice, talking about feelings gets easier and more comfortable.
- Tip for grown ups: Children need to feel safe when being open about their feelings, so this game is best played in a small group or one-on-one with a trusted adult.
Animal charades
Our bodies give us lots of clues about how we feel. When your heart beats fast it may show you are excited and when your face gets hot you might feel shy. When you tremble, it could be because you feel scared. Listening to your body is useful because it helps you to understand how you feel. Playing this guessing game helps to demonstrate how emotions reveal themselves.
1. Write the following animals on pieces of paper
- Angry Ant
- Happy Horse
- Grumpy Giraffe
- Excited Elephant
- Miserable Mouse
- Shy Sheep
- Scared Snake
2. Pull one at random from the pile and act it out using sounds but not words.
See whether your friends or family can guess what you are feeling and who you are.
- Tip for grown-ups: These are meant to be hard. After everyone has had a go, explain that this has shown it is better to tell people how you feel, not expect them to be able to guess.
Get giggling
When you laugh your brain releases chemicals called endorphins that make you feel happy. Laughing makes your body relax too. This helps you to feel calm. If you want to cheer yourself or someone else up, having a good laugh is a great idea. You could:
- Watch a funny movie or cartoon.
- Make up fun races for themselves and friends. Walk with teddies on their head or run with a potato on a spoon.
- Learn a joke and share it with everyone.
- Dress up in their grown-ups’ clothes and pretend to be them.
- Tell a joke (What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!).
- Tip for grown-ups: Children laugh about 400 times a day, but adults only laugh about 15 times a day. Adults need to have more fun.
Make a yummy gift
A homemade gift is one you have made yourself. People like them because they show you have put lots of effort into them.
And research has shown that making and giving gifts can make you just as happy as the person receiving. It’s time to get baking. Here’s an easy biscuit recipe to try. You will need an apron, clean hands and these items:
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- 100g sugar
- 200g soft butter or vegan spread
- 300g plain flour
- Mix the butter and the sugar with a wooden spoon until smooth.
- Stir in the flour and then use your hands to make a ball of dough.
- Put a little flour on your worktop and roll out the dough so it’s about 0.5cm thick.
- Cut out shapes with a cookie cutter and place on greaseproof paper on a baking tray and leave in the fridge for 30 minutes to chill.
- Pierce each biscuit with a fork and sprinkle them with a little sugar, then bake in a preheated oven at 160°C for 20 minutes.
- Decide who you will give your biscuits to (they might even let you share).
Blow bubbles
When we feel worried or scared our breathing might become fast and shallow, and this can make us feel worse.
Taking deep, slow breaths calms your body down. Your body then tells your brain everything is OK and not to worry.
Blowing bubbles is a good way to help you practise taking long, slow breaths. If you don’t have bubbles, you can make
your own.
You will need:
- 50ml washing-up liquid
- 300ml water
- 1 tablespoon of vegetable glycerine (optional)
- Pour the water into a measuring jug.
- Slowly add washing-up liquid and vegetable glycerine and gently stir. Leave overnight.
- Now your mix is ready to use. If you don’t have a bubble-wand, try using a tea-strainer or a slotted spoon.
- As you blow your bubbles, breathe slowly in through your nose then take a long, slow breath out through your lips.
- If you need to calm down and you don’t have bubbles then just imagine that you do.
Spending time in nature makes us feel happy (Getty Images)Make a nature face
Scientists have found that spending time in nature makes us feel happy. Exercise makes us happy too, so a nature walk is a great idea. Take a bag or bucket to collect lots of little bits of nature that have fallen to the ground. Look for things like leaves, feathers, small twigs, flowers and grass. When you get home, draw an oval on a piece of card. Draw on eyes, a nose and a big smile, then use the things you found to make hair. Glue them on carefully and leave your picture to dry.
Feed your worry monster
Worry monsters gobble up your worries, so you don’t have to keep thinking about them. You can write or draw what you are worried about, then you can feed the piece of paper to your monster. Feeding your worry monster can help you feel calmer.
If you want, you can look at your worry again later and decide if you want to do something about it. You will need:
- A tissue box (or any box with a hole in the top)
- Felt tips
- Glue
- Wool or string
- Scissors
- Paint
- Paper
- Paint your box and leave it to dry. The hole in the box is the mouth.
- You can make teeth for the mouth out of paper.
- Make eyes using paint or pens.
- Glue on wool or string for hair.
How I Feel: 40 Wellbeing Activities for Kids by Becky Goddard-Hill, illustrated by Assia Ieradi (£9.99, Collins Kids) available now