22 January 2024 , 13:35
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They say revenge is a dish best-served cold, which was certainly the case for one hapless work thief who lived to regret continually stealing a colleague's lunch. The man recounted how years ago he had been the victim of numerous stolen lunches at work, and after complaining to HR every third or fourth time, he was left fuming that nothing was being done.
However, a yearly check-up at his doctor led to a prescriptive revenge tactic that left the thief unable to eat for some time afterward. He said: “I was b****ing to my doctor and he smiled saying: ‘You’re constipated then?’ I was dumb and said: ‘No why’, and he wrote me a prescription for some laxatives with instructions to ‘mix it in with your meal for maximum effect’ at which point I knew the plan.”
The man then shared how on the day he put the laxatives in his lunch - and waited patiently for the thief to steal his sandwich yet again, heading straight to HR to report two things when he did: “One my lunch was stolen again, and wto my medication was stolen.”
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After telling HR that he had some digestive problems and his doctor had prescribed a ‘powerful laxative to mix in with his mid-day meal’, HR was duty-bound to call the police, as stealing prescribed medication was a criminal offense.
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After the police caught the culprit, from a different department and clearly feeling worse for wear, he even tried to accuse the man of poisoning his food: “I asked him: “At which point did you get the idea that food was for you? Now I no longer have my medication I was prescribed for my condition.”
After admitting that this comment led to the man to: “Shut his mouth until he got a lawyer,” he told how his friend from high school came in to take on his position at the company after he was sacked for the offence. “I have no clue where lunch thief went after his fines and community service,” he confirmed.
With his revelation on Reddit sending readers wild, one said: “Can I have the number of that doctor? Been looking for one just like him.” Another commented: “This is beautiful – keeping the medication in the bag is a neat trick.”
One told how most good HR departments have policies that mean lunch theft equals instant termination, with another saying: “This is why employers shouldn't disregard lunch thieves. It's only a matter of time until they turn their thieving hands on the employers' things, or somehow cause damages to their employer.” One reader said: “Glorious, love that both the thief and boss got their just desserts. It's no different than stealing money from someone's wallet.”