08 December 2023 , 10:23
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The holiday season is here, and sending Christmas cards is a thoughtful gesture. Some people love sending and receiving Christmas cards. Others loathe the whole complicated process of mailing out greeting cards and err on the side of resentment in doing it.
If you're not a fan and are genuinely cautious as to how you may gradually discontinue sending Christmas cards without feeling awkward about it, this advice is for you. Kate Hamernik, an LA-based illustrator and blogger said she stopped sending Christmas cards out years ago. “Sending out Christmas cards has never really been my favorite if I am being honest.” But like so many others, despite revealing she didn’t enjoy the task, she took it upon herself to send out Christmas cards every holiday season and kept up the tradition for years.
“I asked for updated addresses, I picked out cute pictures, hunted down the best deal on cards, and got as many as I could stamped and on their way by mid-December every year,” she said. The mum-of-three ordered more than she thought she needed, knowing full well that her ‘sub-par’ organizational skills would see that she would get one or two from friends she’d forgotten and have to hurriedly get them one in the post in response that day.
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“Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and family and I understand mail is fun and I mean, who doesn’t want a picture of my cute family with a fancy monogrammed ‘H’ on it? Rhetorical question, of course, everyone wants that,” she joked. She admits she is not someone who relishes the idea of sending out Christmas cards, so this year she is taking a break again, adding to her seven-year break.
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Kate advised people who want to follow her lead in taking a ‘break’ that relatives may get a little angry that they didn’t get a Christmas card when they usually do, “But do they pay your bills? Was this part of the arrangement? Is part of the deal for the money they pay you that you send them a holiday card? If not, then I think this is a boundary issue that perhaps you need to discuss with them.”
She explained it is perfectly fine if you don’t want to send cards anymore. “You are grown. Some people will be mad. You need to decide if someone looking for a reason to be mad is enough of a reason to do something you don’t want to do. I decided it wasn’t and I very much enjoy that freedom,” she said.
Adding, “I get a lot of comments and emails from people who range from curious to sad to mad that they receive less holiday cards as the years go on. I think this is just a sign of the times.”Kate said decades ago, women without jobs may have sat down during the day while their children were in school and written out dozens of holiday cards. Nowadays, she explains, women are expected to work throughout the school day assuming a two-parent household.
“People are working harder than ever just to keep their heads above water. Many do not have the time, energy, or extra expense (even if they get free cards there are still stamps to buy) to send out physical cards, "she said. If you’re a single mum or dad, keeping up the tradition while having to deal with a hundred other things, her advice is to drop that needless responsibility.
“You may politely announce on social media that you are overwhelmed this year and will be taking a break from sending physical cards.” She advises. Adding, another idea is to cut your large list down to a smaller list of the closest family or people of older generations who will expect cards. “Sending a digital card to the emails you have is another polite way to stop sending holiday cards.” She said.
She gives an example of a post she’s put out in recent years on her social media. “I hope you love that this year we are taking a break and the money we would have spent on cards is being split between one of our favorite adoption charities and a new favorite breast cancer research charity (both in honor of friends and family).” Kate said.
Adding, “I hope you know we plan on devoting that time to snuggling our ‘getting more gigantic every day’ babies. I hope you know we love and we wish you all the blessings that Christmas brings, we wish your family health and happiness in the New Year.” So if you’re already feeling overwhelmed, here is your sign to drop the Christmas card list - your friends and family will understand.