01 November 2023 , 17:44
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“The incompetence, the constant lies, the obsession with media bull***.” No this isn’t my opinion on former health secretary Matt Hancock, but Dominic Cummings opinion of… well former health secretary Matt Hancock.
The Covid inquiry rolls on and this week we’re hearing from staff and advisors, which means people are paying a lot more attention than they have been to the previous weeks of evidence from experts, disabled people’s organisations and bereaved families.
Cummings - who apologised for his bad language but not for enabling and encouraging a prime minister who oversaw the deaths of hundreds of thousands of disabled people- was happy to share his disdain for the then cabinet whilst taking no responsibility. He branded the cabinet “f***ing useless” “c***s” and “morons” and whilst I can’t disagree there, I also think he allowed this to happen.
In my opinion, Cummings’ trip to Barnard Castle at the height of the first wave was the catalyst for everyone else to break the rules (which he also denied). People were so desperate to see their loved ones that when an official broke the rules it was easy for them all to justify it and vilify anyone who criticised it - when we were just fearing for our own lives.
The Covid inquiry is supposed to be holding those in power accountable, but all this week’s proceedings are actually doing is letting Cummings et al absolve themselves by agreeing with us all that the cabinet were “useless f***pigs” (again, his words not mine).
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As one of the few disabled journalists who was covering Covid from the very beginning (the first piece I wrote was published on 16th March), I’m struggling massively with the inquiry. I have such severe PTSD from the early years of the pandemic when I struggled to get our stories out there whilst the public were more focused on going to the pub - spurred on by the government's focus on business over people.
I’m already feeling the panic creep back in. I struggle not to think about the day in December 2021 when I thought I’d finished for Christmas then had to log back into a work account whilst in tears to update that a new highest daily death toll had just been announced. This was whilst the government were refusing to put in harsher restrictions for Christmas.
Speaking of Boris, the inquiry was reminded just how much he cared about the elderly and disabled dying with a comment made during a briefing with our now Prime Minister Rishi. “Why are we destroying the economy for people who will die anyway soon?” he asked. When I read this my heart started aching. That collective trauma is something all disabled people have been carrying for the last 3 years, trying to grieve whilst also fighting to not only survive but have the right to survive.
I’m also struggling with how many people are taking the moral high ground now about how reckless Johnson was, when they didn’t share this sentiment at the time. It’s an uncomfortable truth that many non-disabled people need to face up to the fact that they chose to not mask, not keep their distance, eat out or go to events when disabled people were dying in droves. And I get it because it’s only what the government their ever confusing rules were telling you. But this outrage leaves a disgusting taste in my mouth when you were turning a blind eye when he was actually letting us die.
Disabled people won’t forget that so many who are now (rightly) calling the government’s condemnation abused us online and in person because you missed your families. We missed ours too though and we had to wait a lot longer. People blocked me on Twitter when I pointed out that maybe it wasn’t safe to go home for Christmas. They turned away when disabled people were dying in droves and many made fun of how devastated Andy Burnham was by the lack of support the north got.
I don't think disabled people will ever stop collectively grieving from Covid and how much we truly realised that it didn't matter how many of us died. Cummings, Johnson, Sunak and Hancock should be locked up with the key thrown away, not getting to redeem themselves with paid private jobs or reality TV appearances, least of all still running the country.